I am desperately trying to get back into Western. I really want not only because I know its a great school, my friends are there BUT I know it will contribute to my future. What part of the that does my dad not understand? I am afraid that I will be rejected but whatever the result is, atleast I tried.

Plus my diet plan wasn't working, how the hell am I suppose to fit in a tiny dress for the summer (this party thing..) Ahhhh must stop eating JUNK. AH.

May long weekend has been the most exhausting weekend, ever. I had no fun whatsoever but instead I spend most of the time arguing with my dad or pleading with my mom. WTF? Why the hell am I even part of their probelm anyways. URG. They are so immature that its getting stupid. What happen to the be mature adults and deal with things intelligence?? All my dad does is scream, yell and break things when things don't go his way and all my mom do is complain and whine. Why god why? Why these two? Urg, they are hopeless and they are so determined to get me involved when I am not interested. My mom is defenceless against my dad when she is dependent of him but he is a total jackass and immature about things. He wents uncontested which means everything must be in open but he doesn't do that! So now mom wants uncontested but then he treatens this and that. I say let the law settle things and we all can get some rest.

@$@$@@@!!!#!#$@!! But due to this issue there might be a small glisten of hope that I can return to Calgary and be able to see everyone again. Which would be wonderful and how wonderful it would be! But yeaaa, which means I might not go back to China which means no dog and family. Everything in the future is now yet to be decided! So we will wait and see.

I hope all goes well.. but something totally unrelated is I have now reached over 200posts. 201 to be exact. This blog has been over a year old. Amazing. I don't know how many people still reads this but I do get emails once in a while. Which is nice. :D

I guess I am part of the cleaning team.

I love you and I hope you know it ♥

Its raining again, and its not one of those cooling rains in the tense heat of summer but a cold, slimy, wet and smelly rain and pours over Victoria and sucks the very life out little old me. I love Thunderstorms but I hate this kinda of rain. Its not small enough that you won't get to wet but its big enough to be a reason not to go outside. It also takes the whole day for it rain so its mostly just damp cold and grey outside. Perfect.

Yesterday was interesting. I was walking to Mom's when some random person grabbed my sleeve and I pulled away and kept walking and muttered "asshole". Then I hear a hi and turn around and there stood Daniel and Kobus from my school. My mouth dropped to the floor and I was like "urrrrggg hi, I didn't mean you, I met that guy" and they were like "what?" and I was like whatever, gotta run and I basicly run off. They probably think I am metally challenged but its better them hearing me calling them assholes. Right? -.-

Then today while I was walking wit Peyton, we bumped into Glen and she was actually talking to me but was like "Ain't I just a retard" out loud. Then AT THE VERY SAME TIME both she and Glen, stopped, turn to each other and stared. ROFL It was hilarious because he was like "What?" and Peyton was like "Retard" and he stood there.. and walked away. LOL Then me and Peyton burst out laughing and it was so funny! Then later he told he was sorry for not listening and said something about retards and etc. LOL It was funny.

Today I have to go and pick up "Girlies" because its that wonderful time again and this is where I start dissin males because apparently, jacking off feels pretty good while I must suffer. Screw men. But I guess I shouldn't be complaining, considerning many transgenders are risking their lives so they can have "fake" periods. Plus it just proves I am truly a girl right? But still boys should have some nasties coming out their ass too. Why only girls?
Somebody up there must have made a accident with the equality part between men and women. I would blab all day long about the inequality of men and women on and on in society and etc but then.. this is just not the day to do so.

I am making other skin, dark colors are gtting.. too dark for me. :p Break starts after tomorrow. wee.

Labels: break, funny, life, pain, rain, school, smus, wtf

it was the my conscience.. o_o

Lets take it one day at a time?

Friday

A billion horrible classes and somehow managed through my mandarin quiz. I went to the SPCA with Ninnart. Played with multiple rats and bunnies. Dropped Coffee accidentally when trying to get her out of her cage but it was like a 5cm fall so I assume she is ok. Got scratched by Cream/Peach the rat (can't them apart) and kicked by a rabbit. Learned Ninnart dislike rats but she was open minded enough to do a 5 min babysit. Took pictures too.

Saturday
Went to Mt.Doug with my mom. It was a lot of fun, the forest was very peaceful and green. I enjoyed the whole thing other then the fact that we shouldn't have wore heels because our feet where falling off by the end. But I still enjoyed it very much. The beaches were amazing and beautiful, I loved the shells. I got so many. My mom also fell twice while we where "hiking". Thanks to heels. LOL It was ok. Pictures!

Sunday

Came back, touching chapel and cleaned my room. Rearranged the closet too. Woot. Long weekend coming up! Can't wait!

Tomorrow is an academic day which sucks because I feel like my brain is fryed. I don't know. I also didn't bother to check in this morning, yesterday or Monday so yea I got in trouble for that. Why would I check in when I have a spare in the morning? Man, I wake, showever, check in and then what? Come back to sleep? >.< Thats really pointless. So many rules in boarding, check in the morning, going out, bed, everything and I you can't take naps between 6-8:30. Thats crappy. No going to bed at 8 and waking up at 6 to do homework either. No freedom.

URG. Too many rules to live by, way too little freedom. I am also disturbed when I do take naps. grr. Oh, I forgot, no privacy either.

Man, SMUS would be cool if there wasn't boarding. -_-' Too many rules for me tiny brain to process.

I resorted to plunking them of myself so now I have bodies all over my desk, plesant. Anyways English test first THEN math quiz. Lovely. But thats ok, I'll make it pass tomorrow. :)

I like pears. woo. that was random but whatever. nights.

By smiling and giving without expecting something back.

Something hit me again (not literally..) and yes this is other one of those deep down I am holy wise posts. But ignore the fact that what I write sounds strange and just read on. =]

Do you think the rich life is good or bad? Having money and the good stuff? Yea its luxury for you but do you feel its actually casting a shadow over.. things? I mean our school does those donation drives and etc but.. what about indiviually? I mean, some people around here get freaked over doing recycling because its dirty.

When you live here, are there things missing that are out "there"? If you grew up in a different situation. I mean what if the concept of life was not to graduate out of a amazing highschool get the best job ever and become rich? What if the concept was just to.. live?? I mean school teaches the right stuff but the parents have more control. I think most parents push their kids for grades and whacked in the head are university, school, money, future and etc.

What if say, we don't want to become the next Bill Gates? When a teacher asks, "What is your goal in life?". What if that asnwer was "to live"? Is that good enough? Or will they stick a broom up your ass? Maybe sometimes we don't expect anything from life other to live. Maybe living is better then spending the rest of my life locked in a office 24/7 trying to figure out how to tell consumers there is poison in our product. Maybe its better to work a easy going job that pays for a good house, have a loving family that is always there for you and take every summer off to go to Hawaii, maybe a few pets and if there is any surplus cash we'll sponsor a family in kenya. Live life to its fullest, try everything that there is to experience, smile atleast 10 times day and live to a ripe old age. Eat what you want to eat, drink what you wanna drink, stop worrying about this and that and let fate takes its course. When you die, you let go easily because you were alive. ♥

So, why is that never taught to us? Why are we taught to do whatever we can to please others? To please our teachers, our parents, everyone else? Why are we not taught to live, to give, to help, to love, to share, to try? I believe every single country has failed miserably at education. Funny out of all the things that should be taught to us, love isn't one them. To love to life, others, yourself and stop wasting time on... things that you can never take with you. When you die, you can't take your job, your massive house, pool, rings, jewels, car with you. People are worried about looks, money, grades, things that don't really matter. When we die, we all die the same way, we close eyes and we stop breathing. At that point, it doesn't matter if you were beautie queen, a hunk, bill gates or a hooker. Before you die, you supposely have a flash back of your life. At that moment, were you pleased with what you saw? For some reason I think most people aren't, but then, I am not most people and I hope you are not too.

Like I said, tonight we save the world by smiling and giving withouting expecting something back, the only thing you get back is self.

If this don't make sense, then to explain it ... Before you die, I hope your bucket list is all crossed out. XD Good night people.
No, I ain't saint, I am no where near what I describe but by knowing, I am slightly closer then those who don't.

I screwed up my physics test BAD, like REALLY BAD. I only got a 72 percent which is a C. Yea, a C in physics. Why doesn't that suprise me. My overall mark is a B but still. I got a C on my test and did I mention how much that brings down my mark. Unless I get like a 95% in Chemistry, my overall science mark is only 83-84. Do you realize I pissed I am if my SCIENCE mark is LOW!? Grrrr I hate smus.

Well after my classes I went to the SPCA, by myself because Caroline was busy and Ninnart was, I don't know? Anyways it turned out to be more fun then I thought, the rats were all over me. I have scratches up and down my arms from them climbing all over and me, even my chest has scratches. Cream sat right on my shoulder while I walked around. ♥ I love her so much! She is so noisy. lol Like me!

^W^

On the downside, my new plants are infected with aphids. Disgusting critters. Using soap spray, please work. D: