Marshmallowers

New Years! So long 2011

2012-01-01T00:16:00.001-07:00

Goodbye 2011,

During my stay I have became 50% cooler than in 2010. I grew 2.5cm (woot!), learned to walk in high heels, punched my first douche-bag, got peed on by dogs 6 times, fell down the stairs only twice, called my male english teacher ma'am 5 times, got my first 50% in a subject, failed a test for the first time, graduated highschool, entered college, was disappointed by the lack of hunks at my college, swung a bag of apples into the crouch of a nice boy holding the door, admired a handsome grocery worker who turned out to be married, was kissed by a ferret, sh!t bombed by a pigeon, slipped on ice a gazillion times, got lost 10 times in my new city, was led to hardcore porn 13 times while searching for cake recipes, renewed my love for Digimon, received a phone call telling me 'mom I'm getting married', witnessed a man get hit by a car in front of a hospital, gave way to much money to Tim Hortons, turned 19 making me cooler than being 18 and finally, Pokemon White/Black came out which makes this a pokepic year. 8D

So long, to the 2012 that awaits (or rather, is here) I look forward to admiring handsome non-married man, avoiding pigeons, straight As, nice weather, getting a puppy and hopefully, passing my damn calculus course. :fingerscrossed:

Peace out!

Wanna Win some Nail Polish

2011-10-09T15:10:00.004-06:00

Wow, I haven't posted in a while. University is going okay, I have midterms coming up which is very nerve wrecking. I want to have a perfect GPA for semester I so that semester when math comes in, I can have something high to fall from. There is so much to remember for bio =_=

It doesn't help that my parents are fighting over money again. Its a huge amount of money and neither wants to pay out. I wish my dad would just let money go for once, just once so my mom won't have to stress which stresses me. Gawd, why do I have such drama queens for parents? Why? Anyone wanna trade? But I am so glad I am at Uni, at least I can get away from them.

Anyways, I entered a giveaway, I really want to the OPI Nail Polish:

Cydangie's Halloween Giveaway

She is a really cool guru, so check her out? Pray I win that nail polish set *_*

Anyways off to study!!

August

2011-08-24T21:03:00.003-06:00

Looks like I completely lost July. Oh well! I have moved to Winnipeg to attend the university of manitoba. School starts on September 8th, I am really nervous how hard University is and how much competition I am expecting for Pharmacy. I am determined to make it in and do well in all my classes (math included!).

My landlord name is Gord, I am living with Sara and her boyfriend in his basement. The room is fairly nice and I still my have betta Isaac with me. I moved him to a 6.5 gallon so he lots of room to swim.

I wander how things will turn out. Yesterday, I nearly fainted at Walmart when my period came. I ate too much ice cream so I had a ton of pain. Urrrrg. But I am feeling better now, hopefully I stay that way.

Woah, almost June.

2011-06-27T23:10:00.003-06:00

Wow, I haven't posted in so long. I guess I need to keep in touch myself. Well, high school is pretty much officially over. I don't know whether I passed Calculus but whatever, I have an idea what the course is like now. I decided to go to the University of Manitoba and hopefully make it into the Pharmacy program. Working hard, I have o move there all by myself and its quite stressful. However, I know things will work out somehow and I'll conquer other hill in my life. :)

Summer is so great ~ no assignments or tests to worry and freak about!

Parents are so not parent like

2011-05-03T21:57:00.002-06:00

God, my parents are killing me. I want to punch through a wall. My mom is seriously the most whiny person in the entire world. One little thing can literally mean the end of the world for her. Microsoft Word stopped working so started freaking out. Her head was hurting, she can't see anymore, the end of the world is coming! All because Microsoft Word don't work no more. WTF. She honestly make me do everything that involves using English and never try to confront things on her own. What the hell is she suppose to do when I leave for University? I can't take care for her all the, I'm fricking 18 and I have a life. Geez. Everyone accepts me to just do what they want, what about me?

My dad is driving me nuts too. All he cares about is money and himself. ANYTHING to make life a little easier for him, doesn't matter what happens to me or anyone else. He also threats me when I ask for stuff that I need because I am his daughter that his health is bad and he might die. WTF. I know he makes plenty of money and sparing a couple bucks won't hurt him. His so worried about his damn luxury life when I been living in shit conditions.

My parents NEVER deal with each other directly, they always USE me. I am so sick of being the victim who has to choose sides and put out the fire. I am sick of it. I want independence and my own damn life without their problems. I can deal with all my own problems on my own, my only source of annoyance is ONLY my parents. URRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

GR.

2011-04-20T23:43:00.000-06:00

I been so busy lately. I got accepted to UBC, U of A and probably U of C (haven't checked). I have 3 quizzes tomorrow, so screwed, be happy if I can get a 70% in Calc. I hate math.

2011-03-20T16:24:00.002-06:00

Well its Sunday and I am yet again sick. My throat is killing me, everytime I swollen it feels like little knives are scrapping against my throat. Urg. I hate this.

On a different note, I have been officially blogging for 3 years now since March of 2009. Cool huh? Still have to apply to the university of Manitoba, I think I might to call in sick tomorrow yet again. I feel like passing out.

Pain you can't feel

2011-03-10T23:10:00.002-07:00

Well the ELA project I worked so hard is not even going to be on my report card. FML. My average overall is going to roughly 78%. Enough to get into UBC Kelowna, hopefully U of A, U of C and Manitoba. I lessed stressed but I am still debating if I should retake Chemistry 30 Diploma. Hmm.

I have been in pain lately, not the kind you can feel. My the one that are the inside. My mother's schooling hasn't been easy and she resorts to exploding her feelings on me. Sometimes in a painful fashion. I feel like my parents had put enough shit in life as they are the only thing that creates any unhappiness. Not boys, not school, not friends, nothing. Just them.

Other really sad thing is my red betta has dropsy. He was the pretty red one with the green/purple metallic wash. I had him for 10 month now, I don't know how he got it but it pains me that he does because I will likely have to put him down. -sign- My animals mean a lot to me, they are a materialized form of my love IMO. I cherish, care, and are sort of their god. They represent a lot to me and I break when they get sick or die.

I wander if that is what it feels like for a holy soul that watches over people on earth. I never believed in god, but I believe in something greater than god (because god = dog spelled backwards). This wonderful being of pure goodness, of pure light, acceptance and boundless love. I believe there is a soul, a spirit something out there like that. A god sits up in heaven and rules of people with boundless power yet he allows suffering, I refuse to believe in someone like that. This being doesn't sit in heaven, instead he is down here on earth, whispering us words of wisdom to help us be a better person. He teaches acceptance, forgiveness, love, goodness of a human soul and selfless acts not by making us sit in a building praising him. Instead he asks, we, through action, help deliver his message. I don't call this being 'god' because that is not what this being is.

A little spiritual post but I hope all my loved animals end up under a holy and loving light.

March

2011-03-02T20:58:00.002-07:00

Its already March, I feel like Time hasn't been the kindest too me. University application has been nerve racking. I am pretty sure I did very very poorly on my Math Diploma because I messed the date ups and was not prepared.

Math 31 has just been as painful, its completely algebra and I am the worst at algebra. I been trying but so far my marks are sinking.

I am really nervous of right now if my university acceptance will be okay. English is going.. I don't know well or not. I will have to wait and see. I hope my first report card is good. I hope I have at least at the very least a 75 in mat 31 and a 80 in English. Urg. Life is so painful lately. =(

But I think I can get into at least 1 university. I hope I can get into UBC. -sign-

Stress, it makes me dumb.

2011-02-13T21:08:00.002-07:00

Apparently, Stress can kill brain cells and do a whole whack of shit to you. Just great, glad to know high school is actually making me dumber. >_>

University application is confusing and is my math mark is making feel so nervous. Urg, I hate this. If my math 30 mark is too low (which it likely is!) I have to work super hard for on Math 31. FML.

Hopefully things will start feeling better once an admission offer comes my way. T_T

well life sucks

2011-02-01T23:32:00.002-07:00

Mood: Shitty
Music: Whats my name - Rhianna ft. Drake
Drinking: Nothing
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: go back in time

I pretty much bombed my math diploma so F.M.L. now I don't know how that might affect my university application. I also happen to pretty much fail my physics diploma so I don't know if I can get in 100% considering its going to pull my average down. Despite taking on 3 math subjects to avoid having Mr. Selby in semester I, I manage to magically fall into his class in Semester II. FML again. Life sucks.

Now I have to do super duper well in Math 31 and probably rewrite the math diploma, somehow manage to get 80% in ELA and magically ace social. Ah. Joy. I hate it all.

University is stressful, life is stressful, the bugs in my room that won't die are stressful. STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

I hate high school. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Can I go back to being 12? Please?

Speeding down the road

2011-01-15T23:14:00.002-07:00

Its been a while.

Diploma Exams are coming, 50% of my overall mark, SCARED. SCREWED. SAD.

I still need to apply to the university of calgary. University is stressful, I hope I can get in to my school of choice. Chem prep is going on right now. 6 hours today and 6 hours tomorrow. I kind of remember this stuff. hard work man.

♥ Adopted out a betta

2011

2011-01-01T00:18:00.000-07:00

2011.

I don't know what to think or do.
I didn't study. D:

So typically me.

11 better be good.

the minutes before 2011

2010-12-31T22:46:00.002-07:00

Its almost 2011. I'm trying to do some homework, school starts on Monday again. :(
Life is about to get busy again. I wander what 2011 will bring and what type of challenges it brings and how I'll overcome all of them. Life goes on, wish I can go back in time and see what it would be like to chance certain events.

Eternity would be nice wouldn't it?

cut.

2010-12-19T01:09:00.002-07:00

I took a pair of scissors. Grabbed my hair and cut it. I cut where ever it seem to be fit and trimmed away all the split ends. It didn't turn out disastrous but you can tell its self-trimmed. Oh well, the best thing is hair grows.

:) Sometimes I need to see the blunt side before realizing the beautiful.

the great war has begun again.

2010-12-08T23:22:00.002-07:00

I certainly like to think of it as war anyways. My ever so lovely little while-you-were-sleeping suckers popped up again, it seems that they have followed me here. I caught one on Tuesday crawling on my bathroom door, my fears were confirmed, they are back. My mom is distraught because she does not want them back in our house. I have sprayed my room this morning, hopefully when I wake up, I will not find bites on me. The worst thing is the bites I receive are so mild I don't know if I even got bitten. They don't itch and disappear within 3 days so even if I was feeding a colony, they have to be a very large adult for me to actually know that I have a new infestation. Anyways, right now I am determined to win this war. I'll be cleaning this weekend and doing so heavy spray downs.

I had 3 unit exams this week. Monday I had Physics, Tuesday I had math and today I had Chem. I got 68% on my Physics final, go figure, even AFTER I studied I am just physics retarded. I got a 87% on my math unit which was okay and I don't know how well I did on Chem. But I ran out of time so I had to finish quickly, I don't know how well I did. :/

On Friday I have other Math quiz, things are so busy leading up to Winter break. On Saturday, my friends are going to build a gingerbread house. :D Why? Because we entered a contest. I hope its fun. Tomorrow I have volunteering at the library, I probably won't get much studying done. *sign*

Right to vote

2010-12-04T23:43:00.000-07:00

So I'm 18 years old. Time flys.

broke and broken

2010-11-30T23:21:00.002-07:00

Well, its official, I am failing physics. 47%. Wonderful, summer school.. I might just see you again. I hate physics and I have to learn everything twice just to actually learn it. BLAH.

I am also broke, like as in I have no money. :( My dad hasn't been giving me any extra money lately and well mom gave me a little bit but I need like $45 for my study guides, $30 for my birthday party and like other $20 for other various things. :(

My birthday is this Saturday but I can't even celebrate it until next week because I have 3 unit exams within 2 days the following Monday and Tuesday. FML.

URRRG. So annoying.

far from easy

2010-11-23T23:17:00.002-07:00

Physics like always is driving me nuts. I have a chapter test tomorrow and it feels like I don't remember anything I learned. I feel so tried and sleepy but I am trying to recall everything. Uhh
Math quiz as well. This week feels like bullshit. Blah. Its frigging freezing in my apartment, I had to move all my fish against the heater so they won't freeze. So going somewhere warm for uni.

Tiring

2010-11-15T22:56:00.002-07:00

So tried lately. My trig exam nailed me in the heart, I scored 63% on it. It was mainly on stupid mistkes too. I don't even what to do with myself. :( My mark dropped by 8%. This sucks. I started expo. and logs. hopefully I can pull it up.

I am studying for my chem quiz tomorrow. I am not doing too great in Chem either. So sick of school already. Well, I'll just deal with it for now.

Gonna apply for University this week. Blah blah blah.

Wish life was like T.V.

vaguely familiar

2010-10-26T22:56:00.003-06:00

I have bites on me and they are far too familiar, three on my arm today and 1 on my foot from yesterday. I sprayed my room but I still fear. I feel like tearing this entire apartment down and bombing it. I am usually a calm and kind person but stealing my blood without my permission is a crime and harassment. Its me vs. them again.

Tomorrow I have a physics exam. Worth 10% of my overall mark, I feel like crying because its hard. I am not doing well in Chem either. I plan to spend Saturday or Sunday at the local in door park studying.

Today was the post Secondary fair. I think I am going to apply to UBC, U of A, U of C and.. I dunno I think thats it. Working hard, gonna hand in the fees hopefully sometimes this week. Errr.

wish it would be

2010-10-24T23:19:00.002-06:00

Other weekend has gone by and I did little, next to none studying. Its like I want to do everything OTHER then study which is rather frustrating considering I have a test tomorrow in Physics. Life has been boring me as usual and I feel like I don't know what I want to do with myself. Blah, I watched shows on my laptop and did nothing else this weekend. Tuesday is the Post Secondary fair, I am exicited to see the different universities I want to apply to. I think I'll start application next week. :)

♥ I had a dream I was riding a beautiful horse across the a meadow and at the end of my ride stood a beautiful man. He told me just believe and everything will be alright. Oddly, he really wasn't a prince or husband to be. He was me. Maybe a previous life sub concious is speaking to me since I been stressed over university applications lately. Makes me wander if I was once a handsome man who stole many hearts. Maybe I didn't treat women properly so now I am punished to be a women and suffer from monthly discomfort. I'll think it as that way or I would really hate whoever created the world and its unfairness. Sometimes I wander if I met to do something great in my life or what my life's purpose is.

Carry me to other place.

2010-10-19T22:39:00.003-06:00

At times like this when I am no longer motivated to do anything, life becomes a still life painting. I am just sitting in a chair wishing to there and not here. Physics confuses the shit out of me, Chem is frustrating me like crazy and Math is just plaining boring. I hate school. -_-

I wish I didn't have to go to school but I know I need to do school for other say I don't know 8 years? I want to be a doctor, I want to help advance the health care system but the time and school is stupid. I just wanna take a break, to be extact I need Xmas break where I can do NOTHING and not worry about it.

Tomorrow I have math first, trying to at least finish lesson 7. I have a quiz on Thursday.

Nothing exciting happened. Just other wasted day of my life.

no chemistry left.

2010-10-17T23:12:00.003-06:00

Mood: Shitty
Music: We R Who We R - Ke$sha
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Reading: Skip Beat
Browsing: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: have an amazing mark

I am finding Chemistry a bit tricky lately. I know I been slacking off so I been trying to catch up but its not working too well. I hope tomorrow on my quiz I can get a 90% but for some reason I am not feeling it. ICE box confuses the sh!t out of me. erm.

My dad called today, he still gave my mom child support and didn't mention anything. So I dunno :S My mom is still nervous if he suddenly decides to not give any.

First report card is coming up. I know I am not doing well in Chem. So I am trying hard to bring my mark up. I want at least 85% before the next report card. I know I CAN DO IT!

I found two bite marks on my leg yesterday and they are vague famililar. I sprayed the room but I am still scared. Please please please don't be back.

Thankful, or trying to be.

2010-10-08T23:07:00.003-06:00

Mood: Tried
Music: Stronger - Kanye West
Watching: Nothing
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: Nothing
Want to: rest

Its the Thanksgiving long weekend. :) I am happy to have 3 days off. I bet its going to go by super fast. Anyway there wasn't anything amazing today but something funny went on during physics class and it went somewhat like this:

Mr.Mudry: Are you drawing turtles in my class Jamica?
Me: erm.. well yes.
Mr.Mudry: Have you done all your work?
Me: Yes *show*
Mr.Mudry: Ok, keep drawing turtles :)

Haha I felt like I was in Grade school again.

I also went to a Korean Resturant with my friends today. I orderd Bulgogi but they made it pretty salty and it had waaay to much onions. It tasted ok but I think my mom/or mine taste better. Next time, I really want that seafood pancake. D:

As far as school goes I scored 90% on my math final (yay!) and a 74% on my chem. (omg..) I hope I keep doing well in Math and start doing much better in Chem. Right now my marks are 88% in math and 80% in chem. D: I want to either keep the 88% in math or get 85% and get 85% in chem. :) I just want 85% ok? T^T I am so tried, going to bed. I am tryin to be thankful but its hard, I don't have a bed and my mom is struggling with money. My dad is cowardly in China and refuse to comeback to Canada and doesn't even want to pay child support. Trying to be thankful.

blah lots to think about

2010-10-04T22:59:00.002-06:00

Mood: Cheesed
Music: Take a Bow - Rihanna
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Watching: Pokemon Best Wishes
Browsing: My math book
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: Study

Today flew by! I spend like 3 hours doing my physics lab. Er and its not 100% done either, its like 90% done. But I don't have to hand it in tomorrow, I think I can hand it in on Wednesday. I have to work super hard tomorrow to study for my Chemistry Final. I need to score a min. of 86% on this test to not let my average drop. -sign- It scares me really. But I shall work hard!

On Thursday is my math final. I am scared silly of that too, its like this week is so packed I am gonna die. =[ Thank god a long weekend is coming up.

My mom is stressed out too because she she realized that half of what she got is actually a student loan that needs to be paid back. She only got a little bit of a grant. My dad is being an asshole and not really wanting to give any child support. Urg. Sometimes I hate him. My mom is struggling super hard to get good grades, I hope things work out for her.

Attended a University of Alberta presentation today. University of Alberta is ok I guess but they don't got Pre-Pharmacy as an option like UBC. So erm... I don't know yet. Anway I gotta go to bed. Life can be so poopy. Here is other picture of my female girly Mentos <3.

what a nightmare

2010-10-03T22:42:00.002-06:00

Mood: Shitty
Music: Perfect Nightmare - Shontelle
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Watching: Nothing
Want to: be Sunday tomorrow D:

Tomorrow is my math quiz, on Tuesday a huge lab is due for physics and on Wednesday is my Chemistry Final and on Thursday is my math final with a possible phyics test. Someone shoot me. I tried to prepare over the weekend but I spend the majority of time doing zit. URG. I have so little control over myself, all I want to do is relax. It pisses me off. I hope this week goes okay, I have to work harder!

Tomorrow there is a University of Alberta presentation so I'll be late getting home too. ERRR. =[

Anyhow GOOD NIGHT.

So September Ends

2010-10-01T23:00:00.003-06:00

Mood: Sleepy
Music: G.NA - Kiss Me
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: youtube
Suppose to: Not much
Want to: I dunno, be smart.
Watching: Playful Kiss (Korean. Ver)

Alright so its Friday AND its October! Wow, September I guess flew by. So far life is okay. I have two unit finals next week so I am a little stressed out. Plus the shitty thing with my dad and etc. But other then that, I been chillaxing. I still to work hard on Physics and Math but I think if I work hard, I can achieve an 80%! I think I can.

Tomorrow I think I am gonna try to wake up at 8:30 and then spend the day preparing for my upcoming unit exams and maybe just chill. My mom is working hard to finish school up, she really wants to work hard and get a good job.

Today I went shopping and I bought 3 Christmas wreaths that I hope I can send back to my family. I think they would enjoy it. I also bought some cookies, juice and fish medicine. I think 2 of my bettas may have parasites since they are so thin :( Hopefully medication can do something.

I guess I haven't really about it but I have a new betta (I know, I know..) but this time it is a girl. Her name is Mentos nad I love her <3 tones ! She is so spunky and cute!

Thats all I guess! :)

heart of discontent

2010-09-28T21:07:00.002-06:00

Mood: Shitty
Music: Only Girl - Rihanna
Drinking: Nothing
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Nothing much
Reading: Nothing
Suppose to: Study
Want to: Punch someone

I had a other stressful afternoon. My dad called, well he lost his job and has a found a new one but it doesn't earn that much. (But it can't be THAT low) He wants to lower child support down to $600. My mom of course did not agree. She felt it was far too low, which it is! But she decided that she will alright with it if he agrees to pay back $500 later when he finds a better job. He said no, he just wants to pay $600. Thats when all hell broke loose. My mom got so pissed off because the agreed amount was $1100 and he cannot lower it without the agreement of my mom or the government. So she said go talk to the government about it and my dad just wants to only pay $600.

So yea my mom got super stressed from it. Anyways, my dad cannot just pay $600 either way because he has to either pay back the $500 later or get an approval from the government. But my mom wants to concentrate on her studies and doesn't really want to fuss with him but now she can't avoid it. Anyways, its super shitty.

I have a Chem Quiz tomorrow and many other things to do so I'll try not to think about it D: URG. My parents = dysfunctional family. I swear I shall never bring finance into a relationship, I learned this lesson far too well.

Cold

2010-09-16T21:54:00.001-06:00

Down with a cold, I always wandered why colds exist. URG.

Life goes on

2010-09-15T22:39:00.003-06:00

Mood: Sleepy
Music: Just a Dream - Nelly
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Nothing
Reading: President is a Maid!?
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: Study

Nothing exciting happened so there isn't anything amazing to write about. School has started and I have been waiting patiently for myself to get use to it again. Today I wrote a math quiz and tomorrow I will have a chem quiz. Life is rather boring. I can't wait until Friday, I want to go shopping or do something fun. Oh yea, when I tried to change my class I got Mr. Selby so I ended up switching it back. Physics, Chem and Math plus my Art course. owwww. X_x

I been watching a drama called Mischievous Kiss, its pretty funny and cute. I really watch it on Friday and I been reading this Japanese comic called President is a Maid!? because it had such high reviews. I guess it was okay, its pretty funny too.

Well my bettas are still slightly constipated but have made a couple drops and I been trying get them regular. O_o Yep, what a boring life I have.

Byez.

wake me up when september ends

2010-09-07T22:28:00.003-06:00

Mood: Pooped
Music: Nothing
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Watching: Nothing
Browsing: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: SLEEP

September has come and raped me. I am in Grade 12 now. Last year of high school. I feel bloated, I feel short and I feel like all the courses I have is going to crush me! Physics, Chem and Math are like 3 evil ingredients that will make the ultimate soup of pain. I am fearful of all 3 of them! I am going to have frickin' 3 diplomas! -dies-

I tried to switch my time table but I ended up with Mr. Selby (ewww) so I ended up switching back. I hope I can handle it all. At least I have art, one of the few courses I love and enjoy.

Anyhow I have to wake up early at 7:30 tomorrow so night night :)

how far do you plan to fall?

2010-08-28T23:34:00.003-06:00

Mood: Soggy
Music: Deuces - Chris Brown
Weather: Cold -.-
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleeping
Browsing: GPX Plus
Want to: Not be old?

Well what an ~~epic~~ soggy day it has been. I spend the 1/2 the day with my mom attempting to get our behinds to T&T. The C-train was under repair so we ended up to take a Shuttle bus. Well lets just say bus does not equal a train. It was the squishy-est ride I ever had. My mom bought a steamer and also so vegetables. It took like 4 hours to do just this.

We ended up eating at T&T and the food we ate was pretty good. We had fried fish, shrimp (tempura) and fried chicken plus black bean sauce on pork. Yea super fatting but I could care less, it tasted so good!

After a while, my dad called. It was not a great call at all. He lost his job. AGAIN. I can't believe he is slightly surprised. Before he went back to China I had told and begged him to stay in Canada for his sake. But he won't listen to me because whatever fake reality China had created for him was stronger then my voice. I told him to stop this stupid and retarded lifestyle of his. he is going to be 50 soon. He needs to settle down and focus on himself, stay at a stable company and just do his job. He didn't listen, he went back and probably blew thousands of dollars on gold diggers and pretended to be someone that he could not pull off. In the end he lost his job, yet again.

Not that I don't want him to come back to Canada but if comes back to Calgary, my mom is going to be irritated. After all, he ditched her for trash and not to mention he was out of his world cruel towards her during their divorce. Part of me will never forgive him for what he has done, he completely destroyed this family. He had it all, a wonderful wife (who nagged a bit too much) and a great daughter (if I say so myself). He chucked away what might have been other man's dream family. Now he has nothing. I pity him really, he is an epic fail as a man, a husband, a father and even as a son (all the time in China, he has never went to visit his mother who had a stroke!). Instead of him guiding me, I ended up having to grow up and guide him. Yet I am somewhat thankful, I am strong and mature at a early age which would aid me eventually in life. It also taught me that you can't lean on a man for anything be it love or money. You have to work for a relationship and before a I do, you need to be independent, strong and standing tall. You need to have respect in your partner's eye and if you don't, you show him the door.

When he comes back, I hope he would finally get his brain out of all that shit and finally realize what he needs to do. Grade 12 is starting soon, this is where the first steps of my adult life begins and I plan on being the best that I can. I wanna rock my own world. My father has been failure as father IMO, never has he given me advice (other then make money, save money and how important money money money is!) or has he shown me real fatherly love. I can say and he even admits he loves money more then anything. Gawd, how sad. But somehow, in a way his horrid acts as a father taught me things that I would have to learn the hard way.

My mom is also going to apply for a college program! I really hope things turn out! I am rooting in my heart for you mom! I hope she can leave behind her survivor job and finally get the respect and job she deserves!! Please let things work perfectly!

Alright sleeeeep time.

Might be too planned

2010-08-19T23:38:00.003-06:00

I spend today doing nothing; sometimes it feels so great to waste time for just once. Tomorrow I probably should do something productive like maybe finish a painting or something other then staring to space and play online games. My grandma called; I actually miss my grandma. Its nice to have old people who doesn't nag you too much around. Her cooking was good.

In 2 weeks I'll be in grade 12 and after that Uni, and after that med school/nurse/pharmacy? I feel like I have my whole life planned out or story boarded but at the same times it so uncertain. Sometimes I plan for something to be so great or to go a certain way but its never the case.

It annoys me so, I planned for my perfect life with independence, headstrong, will and doing whatever I please. Then, a part of me say you just might end up as a beloved pet of some guy who keeps you caged in the house and you'll be perfectly happy that way. I don't want to end up wasting my life doing nothing - yet here I am wasting it.

I wanna do something great, something with legacy, something that will make me immortal (not actually). I wanna help people, I wanna make a difference in someone's life.

But when I see myself and the whole universe, I'm pretty small. Makes you wander exactly how far "love" can go. Eh, what am I blabbing, maybe I need sleep.

I attract bugs

2010-08-12T23:21:00.003-06:00

Mood: Bored
Music: Never say never - Justin Bieber ft. Jaden Smith
Browsing: Nothin'
Drinking: Nothing
Eating: Nothing
Reading: Forbidden Kiss
Want to: Not sleep
Suppose to: Sleep

Haven't posted in a while. =[ Summer Vacation is one of those relaxing things that you do to the point where you don't even bother to do anything any more. But then again, I have to enjoy it while I can since coming September I will be in Grade 12 the stress of it will stab me in the heart and soul. University application, haven't really decided 100% where I want to go get. I don't know if I really want to go to Queen's, too far away and too small of a town. Right now I kind of want to go UBC's Okanagan campus or maybe University of Alberta. Either way, I want to go to Med school.

Lately, there has been a lot of bugs on my window for some reason (oh, did I mention how painful it is to actually open my window, its like one those special windows with that need a special technique to even open geeez). Its really interesting and gross to because those bugs attract a lot of spiders, I seen them getting preyed on and then the spider sucking their insides clean. BLEH.

As for life, living in Chinatown has some great advantages, shopping for food is really easy! (I must have gained 10 pounds by now) But for grade 12 I have to take the bus. Bleh, don't know how I feel about that. Ohh well, better then waking up at 6 for summer school I guess :) School starts at 9AM so I can wake up at 7:30 and still be on time!

Thats pretty much it, as far as pets go, 2 of my Betta fish is really constipated. :( So I ended up searching for all kinds of remedies and its costing me a fortune. Yeaaa.. summer will be over in 2 weeks. -sign- It went by too fast like always.

<3 night

July faded already?

2010-07-27T22:17:00.002-06:00

Mood: Sleepy
Music: How can I breathe - Mario
Browsing: Deviantart
Drinking: nothing
Eating: nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: Not sleep?
Random Word: Woof

Wow, July flew by. I didn't realize its already over. Goodness! I will be moving on Friday to Chinatown. Errrr. Its gonna be so much work. Blah but I am glad August is coming, its going to be really nice to finally rest. But then, OMG Grade 12, Uni and etc. Its going to be crazy. Physics is going ok, right now its at a 84%.. I hope to score a 86% overall average at least. I hope I get above 90% on the next test. My final is on Friday. Things are just flying. But I am glad something is keeping me busy.

My mom got really pissed off today. One of her friends apparently agreed to help us move last week. But when my mom called today, she was hinting at my mom that she didn't want to help. But we are moving on Thusrday (or plan to) so my mom was super annoyed. If she didn't want to help she could have just said that last week but instead she is backing out at the last minute. My mom in the end found someone who is willing to help us move for 100 bucks. Still really expensive but at least that lady doesn't feel like we owe her. W.T.F Asian people are always like this, anything they do has to be some advantage to them. I don't like these people who thinks over and over again to make sure they get something out of it. I rather just do it so I can help someone out, isn't that what a friend is?

I read a comic or manga to be exact called Forbidden Fruit. Its a romance story about a women and a wolf. Apparently this wolf can turn into a human being when the moon is really bright (a werewolve familiar?). They end up falling in love and lots of weird things happen to them. The story is quite smutty (god forbidden my mom finding out) but I liked the idea. It was interesting because they were so fond of each other. Reminds me of other taboos or use-to-be taboos in society like homosexual, step-sibling and etc. Love is suppose to be the purest form of bonds and the strongest emotion yet its so easily destoryed. Sad really. The only thing I didn't like is the wolf is 300 years old (me think old perverted fart) which is kind of gross. The same with Edward Cullen, old grandpa chilling with a high school girl. CREEPY. But, hey I guess I biased to think that, age shouldn't matter but I automatically think of loose skin and sunk eyes. EW.

I also read one called Love Celeb but though it was insanely funny I felt it was rather degrading of women. Its also SUPER smutty (why are manga so smutty?) but at least it was funny. Haha, only well, test tomorrow, night night.

btw, all of my fish are constipated (expect 1) which is annoying the hell out of me.

mah, life is an ass

2010-07-18T22:24:00.002-06:00

Mood: Tried
Music: Numb - Linkin Park
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: 30 min Review
Watching: Uraboku
Browsing: Youtube

I been waking up at 6AM during weekdays and boy, is it exhausting! I live so far away from my school. GRRR. Its been really annoying! I have a test tomorrow, I didn't bother to study because I am lazy like that. I think I'll do a 20 min review before going to bed. I hope I can keep my average above 86%! Physics is hard.

I am moving to a new apartment at the end of the month. Its so frickin cold in this one. Hopefully our new apartment will be really cozy, all my bettas are freezing their ass off. One of them is pretty sick, I don't know if I might end up putting it down. :'(

Anyways, nothing is exciting over summer. Its basically sleep, eat, school, eat, sleep. Oh well, I am content to relax. I am a little nervous for grade 12 but I think summer might fly by. Next year I have to do uni application and all that shit. I think I want to go to UBC right now, but I dunno. I am pretty determined to be a doctor.

Anyhow toodles.

its already July

2010-07-06T22:38:00.002-06:00

WOW. Times flies. I haven't posted in a while. I started Summer School which is about 1.5 hours away from my frickin home. My test I got 81% on it. I plan to do even better on the next one. My goal is 86%+! My betta Picasso is suddenly sick, his stomach is SO swollen. I don't know what is going on, just last night he was fine. :/ Its like he swallowed a rock. Ahhh so tried, waking up a 6AM everyday. Bye.

urrrrgg

2010-06-30T21:35:00.001-06:00

summer school starts tomorrow, what a bummer! :(

sometimes

2010-06-19T22:41:00.002-06:00

Mood: Down
Music: Rock that body - Black Eyed Peas
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Youtube
Reading: Nothing
Suppose to: Study
Want to: Erase it all

Oh god, I did so bad on my math final exam. I am doing so BAD in math. My overall average is only 72%. That is not even a fricking B. I feel like I tried so hard yet I failed big time. This is just, URG. >_>

Last year I at least had a 80%, ever since I got to Western, my mark has been going down down down. My E.L.A mark is only 73% too. This is just, so, urg. I really hope next year I will be able to pull it up. I really want to do well in Summer school, my aim is 90% in phyiscs! Why not? Second try.

I am stressed out over everything, my marks are so low. I don't know reach university will accept me. U of A, UBC, U of C and a couple ones will but I don't think Queens or UBC Vancouver will. Damn you smart asains, why must I be the dumb Asian! Ahh. Anywways, Diploma on Tuesday. Scared as fuck. I studied a little bit today, without studying I can score roughing 80-82%. Hopefully with some studying, I can score at least 90%.

I will try to maintain optimistic but school can be such a drag.

On a other note, my mom got SUPER sick yesterday. She had a huge headache, it hurt so bad she started to cry. I wasn't sure what to do so I offered to make a bath but she refused. I ended up making dinner and doing some chores for her. She still had some pain today so I ended up making dinner again. :P
Shrimp was pretty good. I realized how fat I got since I started living with mom again. Part of the reason why I wanna be independent is I won't make all the yummy and fatty dishes because I am lazy. So I probably lose weight. I hate not being able to run around the park without feeling tried. :/ But I live in the middle of downtown so its hard to be a find a safe and nice place to get some real execrise.

My dad still haven't send over the money he promised. I need dope man. ;_;

you know you break me.

2010-06-12T11:31:00.002-06:00

Mood: Beaten
Music: Airplanes - B.O.B. ft. Haley Williams
Drinking: Cold Water
Eating: Fried Rice
Browsing: Youtube
Suppose to: Study
Want to: Sleep D:

I am tried, really tried. I was suppose to study my heart away because math final is on Monday but decided to take a brief break . Exams are really stressing me out, I have no idea how to rearrange the learned stuff in my head or pull it out of the dump of knowledge. XP It feels like I learned nothing in my math this year. D:

I hope I can do good. I must admit that I wish Grade 11 was longer, Grade 12 sounds far too scary with all the uni app, grad and crap. Too much stuff.

Life has been boring, I study and I study. Maybe next next week would be better once exams are over. I crave bubbletea again. =3

2 and 1/2

2010-06-07T23:20:00.002-06:00

What can I say, 2 and 1/2 until Grade 11 is gone. (well almost) I have exams after exams and the panic is already raising. Oddly, I don't want to study. Tomorrow is Part B of Chem Final. I think I did ok today, but who knows, my gut feelings are most of the time wrong. When I think I pass, I fail and when I think I did good, I barely pass.

I think I passed my math exam which means I failed. great.

Life is flashing by, suddenly I want other fish but we all know that is not a good idea. O_O

I also learned I need Physics for Med school which means I must slave myself through Physics 30. I hate life. I hate physics. :P Oh well, I plan to do good in summer school. I believe in myself, oddly this time. I make a good doctor. I know I will. I'll get there. somehow. I will. f life, I can do it!

My god its June

2010-06-01T22:47:00.002-06:00

Mood: Tried
Music: Nothing
Drinking: Nothing
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: Shoot you
Browsing: Nothing
Wearing: Dark blue hoody

Its the first of may already. My god times flies by. I cannot believe in less then 10days, grade 11 will come to an end and I have to face exams. I am scared. T^T I don't want to face my exams. Its stressful.

Summerschool is likely to go from July 1st to July 30th, hopefully I get beautiful marks in Physics and pull my sad-ass average up a little.

Tomorrow is my math final, I am gonna review a little more before going to bed. I admit, everything is still not 100% kapeesh but I hope I get lucky. I got lucky last time, I got a 80%. Haha, its aim for 86% this time. Maybe I can pull my sad average up.

Anyway, looking forward to summer actually <3 I feel like I need it.

damn

2010-05-30T23:49:00.002-06:00

Man, time is also up for this year and I am still behind in all my marks. Trying hard to pull everything up :/ Grade 11 flew by, I feel like the last swellow during migration. -sign- So much work to do.

boo.

2010-05-24T22:01:00.002-06:00

Mood: Cheezy
Music: So Sick - Neyo
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: Study
Want to: Do nothing
Browsing: Nothing
Wearing: Green shirt

Well my long weekend is GONE. Monica/Molly/Will's birthday mushup fun day was prettty good! I loved the food and the losers of course had to play tag and grounders. But I didn't feel like it. Grade school games don't appeal to me no more.

I spent Saturday shopping with mom and Sunday being lazy. Today I had to spend frickin 4 hours shopping with my mom when I didn't want to! She whined to me over and over again about everything in the apartment. The toilet was kind of broken so she said it was my fault for "flushing too hard". W.T.F How can you flush too hard? ._. Then she was telling me how sick she felt so I told her to go to the doctors but she said she was too lazy. w.t.f grow up.

I did a little bit of math only. Even though I told myself I would study hard I ended up not. -sign- So typically me. My grades aren't too bright. :P I want 80%+

Beginning of long weekend

2010-05-20T23:00:00.002-06:00

Mood: Sleepy
Music: Up Down - Jessica Mauboy
Drinking: Cold Water
Eating: nothing
Wearing: A long green shirt
Suppose to: Not much
Want to: Sleep

Today is like Friday but not really. lol Thursday instead! But I have a long weekend coming up which is really great! I can give myself a good long rest. ^.^ Tomorrow is Monica's Birthday and we are all going to Sliver Dragon to celebrate. I hope it will be fun.

My dad called today, I was trying to convince him to pay for summer school but he kept trying to avoid it. Dick. I can't believe he has a hard time willing to pay for summer school. Its not even me asking for money to go buy stuff or something, its for my education. >_>

Speaking of marks, I have got a 89% on my social quiz (no idea for the test ._.), a 92% + 100% on my biology quizzes, a couple 80% and 90% for chem quizzes and etc. I don't know how I did on my math final yet but I really hope I did good because I sucked on the quizzes and I am running out of time to pull marks up. :/

Alright, time for bed, I am gonna enjoy my weekend and sleep lots. lol.

so tried,

2010-05-13T22:56:00.002-06:00

Mood: Exhausted
Music: The little things - Colbie Caillat
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Wikipedia
Suppose to: Nothing
Want to: Sleep
Wearing: Dark pink tank top

I am so exhausted this week, 2 finals ad 3 quizzes plus several assignments due. I have a Chem Quiz tomorrow but I didn't bother to study. I am just to tried, I am so done. I need the weekend. Tomorrow is apparently the last day of SKIP, I totally thought Skip ended up apparently it didn't. I hope Louis isn't mad since we never showed up last time :P

Anyways, I did my math quiz today. I am so sure I failed big time =/ I just hope I get above 70% on this quiz. I am scared silly for my unit final, reasoning and circles is so hard.

I saw a tone of elderly people going through garbage looking for bottles, I guess the economy hasn't recovered. Its sad that Canada can host the winter olympics but not care for its own citizens. :(

Anyhow good night, I am too tried to type.

my brain just farted

2010-05-10T22:38:00.002-06:00

Mood: Chill
Music: That's my Attitude - Trina
Browsing: Nothing
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: Study
Want to: Sleep
Wearing: Green Shirt

I cannot believe the tomorrow is gonna be my Acid and Base Final. I am so not ready. This unit flew by :( I really hope I get 90%! I am gonna be extra careful and make sure I score good. I have MASSIVE social Final on Wednesday. I am scared I will probably fail it but I plan to go early on Wednesday to clean up anything. However I doubt Mrs. E will be there.

Anyway Math Quiz Thursday AND Bio Quiz Thursday. See how screwed up my life is?

But to be a more interesting note. On Friday, I saw two homeless people having sex and I think I saw an albino human being. I kept staring at him which was probably extremely rude but I was so curious and I wanted to confirm if had red eyes. D:

I bought Monica's Birthday present, I hope she likes it. School will be over on June 10th, that is less then 30 days away. Scary stuff. I need to pull up my marks!

Miracle on the staircase

2010-05-03T23:25:00.005-06:00

Mood: Pleased
Music: I came 2 party - Space Cowboy
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: Study
Browsing: Google
Want to: sleep
Wearing: Grey Hoodie

Guess what happened today? I found and rescued a baby pigeon!. It was about to rain outside and it was really cold when I went out to take the trash. By fate I swear, I heard the cry of a baby bird and there found an adorable scared little pigeon! It was stil a fledgling but could not fly yet so I ended up bringing it in! It is freezing out right now so I am so glad I did.

I didn't know what to do with it so I sent messages every where on forums, websites and etc looking for help! By fate, a nice lady came to my aid and taught me how to feed this baby! I have no fed a pigeon baby before, it was so hard at first but then he realized I was shoving food down its throat and it started begging me for food! This baby ate 30 peas under 15 min! What an healthy appietiate. Soon a nice lady called me and told me she was willing to take in this little fledgling and boy, was I glad! So she came all the way down him and picked him up even though it was a cold and dark night. She came and took him safely away!

Within 4 hours I found a baby pigeon, learned how to feed a baby pigeon and found it a forever home. Very very happy, nothing can feel better then the feeling after you saved a life. I am glad for once, for taking out the trash. :D

On other scarier note, on Saturday Night someone at 4:30AM start banning on our door and my mom was super freaked out. THEN today some guy showed up at our door and was knocking, I asked who he was, and he was like Kyle or something and I told him he got the wrong door. My mom think its fishy....

Speaking of fish, my second betta has been dealing wiht ich is not doing so good. I should hammered the ich harder to begin with. Now he is barely hanging on. I hope he will be ok...

Anyhow, just a note that I got 83% on my math midterm which isn't bad since everything been 60-70ish lately. So I think that brought up my mark! I did really bad on my social essay but its not something I can't fix! I will do better next time~! :) Nothing ever is a failure unless you prove it be, always be standing when everything is crawling!! I am Jamica the Great :D, happiness is the jewel of all jewels. :D Nothing can break me down, I am strong, wise, intelligent and kind person. I swear, by the end of my life I WILL make a difference in the world!

Baby I took in:

matter of math

2010-04-28T21:49:00.004-06:00

Mood: Nervous
Music: Solo - Iyaz
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Nothing
Suppose to: Study
Want to: be smart
Supper was: Potato and Pork

Tomorrow is my dreaded Midterm which I am so not perpared for it. I am gonna do good..., I hope I do good. I hope I can get above 85%! God, so scary. I don't know how prepared I am. I studied but I don't think I studied enough, I hope things turn out good for me. Ohh, I am doing so bad in math (T_T). My last mark was 65%, so I hope this time, a 85% can cancel that out. gee.

Tomorrow is also my biology contest, I am just gonna see how well I do and so I can skip class X3 It will fun I guess. Bio Quiz too. I hope I ace math!

Friday I might go over to Kelly's since she is inviting our Senior Friend over for dinner. I hope it will be fun, I swear I will cook :] I think cooking is kind of fun, especially when trying new things. Its a form of art, I hope if I ever get married the guy will eat anything I make because if he don't, I be mad. lol No one says no to me COOKING. Damn it. Even if it sucks... :P

My other Betta is still slowly recovering. -sign- Ich has stolen already 2 of my babies, I refuse to let it steal anymore! The one who was originally infected, name Napoleon seems have recovered. This stuff is hard to beat, it spreads so quickly!

cry to math

2010-04-26T22:01:00.003-06:00

Time: 10:01PM
Music: Its Alright, Its OK - Ashley Tisdale
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: Study
Browsing: Nothing
Wearing: Pink/grey sweater
Want to: Study

Today was absolutely FREEZING. I was freezing my bom boms off. Even though it was suppose to be 10 degrees, our school turned off the heater which freezed me to death. I am happy to say I have 81% on my Chem Final, my class average was 74% which means I got ok on it. There were lot of "trick" questions on the exam that many many people did not get.

The sad part is for math, I only got a 65% but considering I did not do the back side since I did not realize there was and I misread about 3 major questions. I completely screwed up my written response. I think I know my stuff, its just for some reason I screw up. urg. My math average probably is like a 70% by now, what do I do??

Anyways, Thusrday is the Midterm, I hope I get above 80% this time =/

I wish you were

2010-04-22T22:51:00.002-06:00

Mood: Sleep
Music: Hey Soul Sister - Train
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Nothing
Wearing: white kitty moomoo
Suppose to: Sleeping
Want to: Sleep

Well, the good news is I finished all my exams. The bad news is for Math I did not realize there was a back page so I did not do it. So that probably costed me a lot. FML. I am flunking math right now, I have other chance to bring up grades next Thursday which is me Midterm. Best part is, its first thing in the morning when I am sleepy as fuck. Great.

Tomorrow, thank god is Friday. My goal is to buy bubble tea, buy school supplies, laudry, go to Walmart and finish my social WS and start my essay. For the weekend I want to study for math.

Sadly, my poor fish Mozart did not make it. I feel terrible for losing him. RIP. My other fish Sir Newton is also been inactive which scares me. I don't wanna lose anymore fish. I don't plan on getting new ones until I am sure my current ones are healthy. Napoleon's been fighting ich and I seem to have won so far, but I still plan to carry treatment till mid next week. Just in case.

Alright night!

ready?

2010-04-19T22:40:00.002-06:00

Mood: Tried
Music: Wiritten all over my face - Kris Allen
Wearing: Blue hoodie
Browsing: Nothing
Drinking: Nothing
Eating: Noting
Suppose to: Study
Want to: sleep

Didn't have dinner until 9:30PM, My mom was planning to make chicken but it nevered thawed. -sign- Now I feel all bloated and gross.

Tomorrow I have my math final and my biology final. I am really screwed for math? Yes, am I screwed for Bio? Probably. Lets hope for the best, I really hope I can score good this time. Lately, Unit Test for math has not been great. I think my mark is in the 70s, I need to bring it up to 80s and this my chance! I sure I can do it! Chem final on Thursday, and quiz on Wednesday. I have far to much work, its not even funny.

Mozart seems to be clinging on to every breathe, I fear he does not have many hours left with me. I still don't kno what has gotten to him and my other fish.

Well life goes on I guess.. I wish I could have done something. I really hate losing pets and things that I value.

skipping across time

2010-04-14T22:22:00.003-06:00

Mood: Sleepy
Music: What do you want from me
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Wearing: Grey Hoodie
Browsing: Youtube
Suppose to: study chem + math
Want to: Sleep

I realize that sometimes my bloggin should be addressed to myself. I might read this in a couple of years. Today I did my Biology Quiz on Cell, it felt pretty good but I don't like to expect 100%. I didn't really study so I am hoping I winged it ok. X3

The guy my mom met online turned out to be instead a scam. Somehow I had a gut feeling that great man just don't pop up. I think my mom knew in a way too but deep down she was hoping it was luck. Disppointing I suppose. Oh well, I am sure there always be will be more chances in the future. My relatives are disppointed too. There is always 10 scammers for every 1 guy seeking a relationship. For every 10 guys seeking a relationship, there is 1 good guy.

I think its better if she searched in real life other then rely on the internet. Just sayin'

I had a conversion with my aunt on the phone. Apparently they had a puppy for about a day. Boo. Too bad.

Tomorrow is Chem quiz, my chem marked dropped to 81.3% -pulls hair- I need a 87%!! I hope I do good on the quiz! Math quiz on Thursday.

I fail. seriously.

2010-04-12T23:17:00.002-06:00

Somehow I ended up doing no homework today despite having tones of time. It just slipped by. Math Quiz is on Friday and I have done NOTHING. wow. Slacker to the extreme!

just other sunday evening

2010-04-11T21:23:00.004-06:00

Mood: Mellow
Music: Already Gone - Girlicious
Wearing: Grey teddybear t-shirt
Browsing: Nothing
Suppose to: doing math
Want to: Draw

Other Sunday, nothing much happened today. I updated my goldfish site with some new stuff then I went shopping with my mom. We bought toilet paper (which seems to be always low..) and some other stuff. I snagged two Twix for only 1.85! I love Cheap Chocolate. :D Back in the day, chocolate was like $1.49 EACH. Now its like two for a back, I love cheap! Haha but its not like we are any richer.

My fish are doing slighly better but I still see white spots all over him, he seems so exhausted and tried. =[ I am really rooting for him, I hope he pulls through with a full recovery. My now oldest betta, Mozart seems to be getting really old looking. Skinny and ragged, he is obvious of his prime. I been increasing his food intake lately in hopes he will add on some wait. I fear he may have parasites or something. I have had him for over 7 month now, I am rooting to be with him for 1.5+ years.

On the had, my newest betta seems to be doing good. He is joyfully building a bubblenest, its obvious he just reached his prime years. He is purdy boy with steel blue in the middle and orange fins. I hope to have him for a few years! :D

Tomorrow I have Chem Quiz, I did good on the mini quiz but I still want to review just in case. I hope I do awesome =] My chem mark probably dropped pretty hard. -sign- Why am I always playing catch up. I really want 85% above all my classes but its hard.

thing never go according to plan

2010-04-10T22:53:00.002-06:00

Mood: Stressed
Music: Cowboy Casanova - Carrie Underworld
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Wearing: Yellow
Browsing: Ulimatebettas
Suppose to: Biology Homework
Want to: pull my hair

I already lost my betta Danny to some sort of weird tumor disease. =[ Now just a couple days I lost my betta Frosty to a disease I could not identify on time to treat. Now my new Betta Napoleon is infected by Ick. He is so miserable.

The worse part is I don't know if I infected my other bettas. Mozart seems to be OK. My newest betta Squidward was infected, but I think after I dosed him, he seems to be better. However Napoelon is so still covered by the parasite. I don't know how he will hold up. I increased the medication. But I been reading all these bad reviews about it. I am nervous that he won't be ok. I really don't want to lose anymore fish.

When I first started keeping Bettas, Taffy lived 10 month with me, WITHOUT any problems. Now after less then 8 month, I lost 2 bettas already. This is not typical of me. I was so sure, I am good at fish keeping, shouldn't have that so soon. -sign-

Trying to do some Biology but I am so stressed over my pets; I hate it when I cannot take care of something properly. It drives me crazy.

sick to the heart

2010-04-08T23:05:00.002-06:00

I read a report of a 13 year old girl who was married of to a guy in his late 20s and after he "molested" her, she died from internal bleeding. Child Bride is not culture, its an excuse for disgusting men that want to rape little girls. I pray that these men will all have their penis cut off and fed to sharks. Fuck them.

Humanity seems to sicken me every time, if you think about it, if God existed, he is very very forgiving indeed. If the devil existed, I am so suprised he has not swallowed up earth straight to hell or maybe we are on our way.

Nothing sickens me more then the abuse of children. Children are defenseless, they are nothing more then innocent lamb caught among a pack of wolves. They do what adults please and they carry on what adults believe is right. Only children possess unconditional love. With age and time, we lose so many of these abilities. In the eyes of an child, the world is beautiful, the world is great no matter how cruel it is. Mother is god, father is king and everyone is your friend. I don't understand why we must grow up.

-sign- Two quizes tomorrow, I hope I score above 86%.

running towards summer?

2010-04-06T22:23:00.002-06:00

Mood: Sleepy-ish
Music: Queen Bee - Maki Goto ft. Sweet Black
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing Much
Browsing: Youtube
Suppose to: Be sleeping
Wearing: White hoodie
Want to: Sleepin'

Other day went by. This is the end of spring break, I spent 99% of it doing nothin other then slurpin bubble tea, watching movies of CSI, attempting to setup Tomb Raider Underworld, playing my PSP, window shoppin and most of all SLEEPING. The other 1% I did a bit of math, but that was no until the last 2 days. Yeah.

How do I feel? Like I wasted other good break when I do myself to make something of it. Oh well; at least I think I am ready to take on school again? I could use some upgrading with my marks. =/

Today I was particularing annoyed and pissy, one newest betta fish has sliced its tail in HALF on a piece of decoration. So now I have to watch him to make sure it does not get infected. My other yellow betta that I had for almost 8 month seems to have come down with SOMETHING. Again, no real signs but I have a gut feeling I need to buy meds on Friday. -sign-

I tried installingg Tomb Raider but I failed. After 2 days; everything worked out, other then the fact that my computer cannot possibly run it. HM. GREAT. There goes other 12 wasted hours. >_<

Tomorrow I have my social studies quiz which I did not study for. Please be less then 5 questions. T_T

my wasted youth

2010-04-05T23:45:00.001-06:00

blah

tears tears tears

2010-04-04T22:58:00.001-06:00

I wish I had done more during my break. It just sort of mellowed by. I am still doing math + trying to install Tomb Raider Underworld. I downloaded but who knows if it will even work. >_> I hope I won't screw up my computer!

-headdesk- School starts on Monday.

2010-03-30T23:40:00.001-06:00

I WASTED TODAY TOO. DARN IT!

wasting gold

2010-03-29T23:03:00.002-06:00

Mood: disappointed
Music: Yesterday - Toni Braxton
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Wearing: Purple
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: have a &heart; dream

They say time is the most priceless thing in the world. So why the hell am I wasting it doing nothing all day? Well I went to T&T with mom today but when I got back, I crusied the web and ended up watching re-runs of Sailor Moon. I guess you can say I was reminiscenting over the past. But still.. akward.

On Friday me and Kelly went to Chinook Mall together, I found a new nice pair of jeans that I want but it cost over 30 bucks. =[ Still can't decide if I should get it or not. I wish I had more money. But I spend $10 dollars anyways on 2 different types of aquatic plant and a new betta fish name Napoleon! Me and Kelly sat at the mall for over 15 min trying to come up with a name and we decided on Napoleon (actually I decided on Napoelon). I really love that name lol, I like naming my pets after historical figures like Mozart, Marie Antoniette and etc.

Last night I had a dream I was married to a smexy and dreamy husband, god! He was so handsome and charming. Too bad it was only a dream, wish it were real! Hopefully I would have the same dream !

All nighty-o, tomorrow I am going to Walmart AND I am gonna study!

time for a break

2010-03-24T23:34:00.003-06:00

Mood: Exhausted
Music: Shiver - Shawn Desman
Browsing: Facebook
Wearing: Purple
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: Sleep

After yesterday's brutal stress, I think I passed all my exams however I still praying that at least 85%+ for both Chem and Math. I don't know exactly how well I did, for both exams I had 1 long asnwer question that I don't think I got full Marks on. Hopefully for mutiple choice I would get them all right. :(

Tomorrow is my Biology Final, I didn't really bother to study at all because I am too tried. I'll review tomorrow during Lunch and Social since I have Bio last. Urg. I really need a break, can't wait until Spring Break!

My mom is still all excitied over this guy she met on the Internet, he claims he might visit her time month... I still don't trust her stroke of luck but I don't wanna pop her Happy Bubble either. I have to constantly remind her the internet is not safe. -sign- I feel like my parents are so immature. God. My dad is still so dumb over there. My mom is like a teenager who just had her heartbroken and is getting her new game on and my dad is like a sex-crazied teenager. Both are.. URG. Yea. =[ There not even cool. They are old fashioned teenagers with bad tempers. BLAH.
Good Night :)

why am I always so screwed

2010-03-23T22:41:00.002-06:00

Chem Final and Math Final Tomorrow. Screwed much?

crammin' the mind

2010-03-22T22:58:00.002-06:00

Mood: Tried
Music: Bedrock - Young Money & Lil'Wayne
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Nothing
Wearing: White Hoodie
Suppose to: Stupid till 2AM
Want to: Sleep

When will I learn not to cram studyin' till the very last moment. I am so bad at time management its no even funny. Both of my finals for Chem and Math are on Wednesday. I am praying for 83% + and both of them, because any lower and my marks will suffer. I am scared because I can't wrap my head around everything. I have my Biology Quiz tomorrow, aming for 90%+ as usual. I think I got it down, just need to remnd myself a couple stuff.

I hope I do insanely well on my Math final, its woth 16% of my final mark. I want to cry. God. The pressure.

On the side note, my mom met this guy from England online. He seems real handsome, intelligent and caring. HOWEVER. He seems to be too good to be true and some of his stories are a little odd. I fear he may be a scammer so I cautioned my mom to be wary of him and not get to personal. She feels flattered but she took my advice. Hopefully he is an actual guy looking for love and not money.

I am looking forward to Spring Break ♥ Peace out

this day..is..gone

2010-03-16T22:47:00.003-06:00

Mood: Busy Bee
Music: Turn it up - Stereos
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Wearing: Grey
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: Study
Browsing: Ultimatebettas

Other day gone already. Whipped by again.

I had no time to do math.. again since I had a Biology and Chem Lab due today. I have to go see Mr. G early in the morning for tutorials, don't get some stuff. =/

Busy Busy, I had my math quiz today, it was ok, who knows how well I actually did. Hopefully 86%+? I also did my Biology Penis Quiz. ahaha. I think I did ok, I labelled the Utheter as Uthera and might have labelled the Ejalatory Duct wrong but other then that I think I am good. Hopefully less then 2 marks off.

More chem quiz tomorrow, bigger chem quiz thursday or Friday and possible social quiz tomorrow. shoot me.

sleeeepy

2010-03-15T23:18:00.002-06:00

Sleep is ♥ .
It refreshes your skin,
It clears acne,
It promotes growth,
It helps slim you down,
It makes you happy,
It helps escape bad days,
Its good for you :)
♥ Sleep some more

I need sleep. lol

Biology Quiz tomorrow and Math Quiz, I need to pull up marks badly. I have only a 84.4% in Chem which needs to be 87%, I have a 89% in biology which needs to 93%, I have a 79% in Math which needs to be a 84% and I have a 73% in Social which needs to be an 86%.

The highest in my Social Class is 84%, I don't think my social teacher even cares our average is an 66% right now and our class average for the exam was 60%. Still, i need to pull those averages up high. =P I believe in myself.

all I do is think about you

2010-03-13T22:01:00.004-07:00

Mood: Sleepy
Music: Dilenma - Nelly ft. Kelly Rowland
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Weaing: Yellow
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: Sleep

This is one 291 post. wow. Never realized I had so many. O_O This bloggin thing is actually pretty achieving.

Anyway to say the truth, there isn't much I did today. It was such a BLAH day, all I wanted to do is NOTHING so I stayed home, indoors all day doing Nothing. Simply just relaxed staring into space and having a series of un-connected train of thoughts. Do anyone other then me do that? I find it so amusing, my mind just wander off and I jump from math homework to fantasy movies to my fish. Its strange though, I don't know if anyone can do this but once my mind leaves it as though my concious enters a different world. Everything around me slips away and the world/place I think about surrounds me, I still realize I am in reality and I can see that but in my mind I am elsewhere. Its hard to explain but its like I am occuping two places all at once.

Maybe that is why I waste so much time, I can sit and stare into space for hours. I don't even realize hours have went by but my thoughts just keeps going and going. Then I snap back to reality. Its kind of gift to me, I can escape sometimes from my heck of a life to other one filled with creatons of my own. I am god of mind and I create characters in mind. lol Ok maybe thats a little far. If you think about it its like the book Breakfast of Champions. :D

So yea yea, I have a new layout. I really love this photo, I forgot where I found it but once I do I promise to link it ♥

I have my monthly annoyance so I am extra moody and daydreamy. haha. Nights. Oh, Yesterday I went to Monica's apartment to make Sushi with Kelly and Molly. It was so much fun, I did not like the movie called the Hurt Locker, great acting and all but I hate war movies.

I watched Constantine which had a B rating, Kelly didn't want to rent it but I watched it when I got home. It was a great movie actually, I loved the demons and the keep assing! Then I watched Boy Culture, yes, its a full out movie about Gay man but it won a few awards and it seemed really interesting. I actually liked it, the whole movie was about acceptance of self and the actors where hot, despite they are gay. lol ok ok ok time for bed. &heart;

But one last thing.. I should starting achieving old layouts since they are my creation and reflect me..

2 YEARS BABY

2010-03-11T22:51:00.002-07:00

Mood: Cheery?
Music: Its over Casonova - Lights
Wearing: Black
Drinking: Nothing
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: not go to school tomorrow ;_;

2 YEARS OF PURE BLOGGING, I MMA DA SHIT!

-cheering-

Thank you thank you thank you, your too kind!.

LOL Anyways I am happy to say this is an achievement. I can't wait until March 2011 when I will be even more mature and even more experienced with life. Its cool to see how I have grown over the years and how I have became a different person with each growing year. Maybe I have lost the once childish creativity that I once had and the innocent thoughts I once always thought are the correct ones.

I learned that not everywhere do you belong and not every place gives you content. You will always have a place in the world and sometimes you stand alone in that place. You realize why some people you call friends and some people you should just try to keep the best memories of. I don't regret anything in my life, I love myself more then anything and because of that I love everything and everyone around me.

I may not have the most functioning family and the most exciting friends but I feel blessed to have had them and each person I came in contact with whether they made bad or good impressions with me. Its because of them that I am the great person that I am today. I love life. I cherish life. It may be boring but its one thing that is truly mine.

I hope 20 years down the road I would read this and I would read this to my grandkids and show them what a insiprational 17 year old I am. lol

Haha, now I feel all happy and bubbly. Goodnight, Social test and chem quiz tomorrow. boo. There goes my happy bubble.

tomorrow dear

2010-03-10T22:32:00.001-07:00

Mood: Exhausted
Music: Savior - Lights
Wearing: Black
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: Rest

Tomorrow. is. the. official. 2 year. anniversary. of. my blog. WEEE.

LOL I am pretty proud of myself for typing in this blog for such a long time. Google better never shut down Blogger or all my beautiful history will be gone =(

So anyways today I did my Social Test, it was out of 41 and I already know I have 2 wrong. DAMN it. No 90% this time. I am probably sitting around 80-85% on the test, hopefully my mark won't drop after this. I am really hoping for a 86%+ on my first report card. Alysha is switching out of the class, apparently she can't take social no more. She is going to 20-2. She already has a lot of 20-2 course but then she isn't planning for anything major so I guess as long as she passes, she is okay.

So tomorrow I have my Biology test, I reviewed for an hour over all the different horomones from ADH to Cortisol and etc. Tones of stuff to remember but I think I got it down. I hope I do good, I need 1% to reach a 90% and only 4% to reach my goal of 93% for Biology 30! Gonna work REAL hard! =3

I did an hour of math and manage to finish 1 lesson worth of work, hopefully I can catch up this weeekend, still 1 lesson behind. Gonna do better on my next quiz. =D

So tomorrow is pretty busy, I have a chem quiz too. Blah. Its not fine.

Alright nights.

hey would ya make it hun

2010-03-09T22:57:00.002-07:00

Mood: Nervous
Music: Try - Nelly Furtado
Drinking: Water
Eating: Cold Meds :(
Wearing: Grey
Suppose to: sleep
Want to: Study

I don't feel all too fly. I checked the Queen's University average for application in B of Science and the average is fricking 84%. That means for me to get in I need a min of these marks:

Math - 84%
Biology 30 - 93%
Chemistry - 87%
Social - 86&
Physics 20 (redo) - 86-90%

Those are pretty harsh marks. Right now as of standing, my average is only 82% overall, I need to pull it up to 86% if I went to do Early Admission. I checked of Unversity of Alberta and its only 73-75%. Blah. UBC is only 75% + and for Biology, Calgary is 78%! Which is higher then U of A .. oddly. I dunno, I am considering
doing early Admission for Queens + U of C. Since.. U of A is pretty much the same as U of C. The only difference is I'll be in Edmonton. I still want to try UBC as well.

I don't know right now. All I know is. I have to work harder >_
Grrr. Ok nights. =(

fail.fail.fail.

2010-03-08T22:04:00.001-07:00

I fail at math. its da truth, for the quiz. I didn't know how to do about 3/4 of the questions. fail. fail. fail.

The chem final was ok but I am not sure exactly how I did.

Math is so hard. waaaahhh. I need tutors. blah.

sneezes and aches

2010-03-06T21:25:00.003-07:00

Mood: Sick
Music: Hey Stephen - Taylor Swift
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Wearing: Grey and White
Suppose to: Sleep or Study
Want to: Sleep

I am sick again.

What is wrong with me? Why do I keep getting colds -sniff-. I hate colds, I hate congestion, I can't sleep.

So this morning I woke up early to go find the Canadian Blood Services but when I was drawing the map I drew it backwards. So I went the wrong way and ended up in Downtown. Kelly said I had to take the bus at 9 in the morning on Friday so I assumed it was near Downtown, It was NOT. It took me a very long time to figure that out. W.T.F How wasteful of a morning. Then I went to Mona Lisa and
bought some new paint. I finally finished my painting of Kelly and her Dog which was suppose to be a Christmas Gift. HOW OVERDUE! lol But at least its done, giving it to her on Monday, Merry Christmas 2009?

I doing bad in Math now, I thought I do better but I am doing not so good. I plant o study hard to tomorrow, we are suppose to view an apartment too. I going to review Lesson 7 just before we go to bed.

I HATE BEING SICK. WHY IS THERE SUCH AS THING AS VIRUSES? URG.

Yea. Oh, and on March 11, 2010 I would be blogging exactly for 2 year! Achievement

just a monday

2010-03-01T22:28:00.002-07:00

Mood: Annoyed
Music: Hey Stephen - Taylor Swift
Drinking: Water
Eating: Noting
Wearing: Purple
Suppose to: sleep
Want to: manage my time

What a cheesey day it was been, classes were so loonng and I learned so much new stuff that I didn't bother to review :P Biology test tomorrow, I actually studied and went through things in my mind. I reviewed the ear and the eyes. I think I got Synpase and Stimulus all down. I am hoping I don't make mistakes with the brain because I get all the parts and function mixed up sometimes. Kind of nervous, I am so far doing ok in Biology, average is setting above 90%. I plan to graduate with at least 90%+ since this is my last biology class in highschool before I go and major it in University. But I have to admit, this unit isn't fun. I cannot wait until GENETICS ♥

So I remembered/relearned how to factor, hopefully I do better now in math. We learned new stuff but again I had no time to do my homework. I don't manage my time very wisely and spend nearly 2/3 of life, sitting there lost in thought. I think I think to much, think of useless things like what would happen if I did.. this or that. Blah.

I got rejected by someone on facebook, I actually don't know them that well but they are on a sport team and I was hoping to get inside scoops because I don't read the school paper. I guess they only add "Friends". Now I only get partial headlines buried in quizzes and other random stuff. =/

I caught other "bug" the oter day, it never ends does it. I think the building is infected. We need to move. I am starting to really hate this apartment, I feel like they are watching me, waiting to get a chance to bite me. This is insanity, we need a new place! ahhhh.

night.

Lost track of myself

2010-02-28T22:42:00.003-07:00

Mood: Cheesed
Music: Don't let it get to your head - Jordin Sparks
Wearing: Yellow
Drinking: Nothing
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: go back in time

The weekend went by like "that". It was so fast I barely got a wiff of it. A series of things happened though. On Friday I visted Louis with Kelly, it was alright but we stayed too long once again. Then I went to Walmart to try and find some Medication for my fish but there was none so I can try again this Friday. That is, if Danny makes it by then :(

Then on Saturday my dad called, my mother demanded that I confront him about him getting married and blah blah blah. He got scared I guess when he heard my mom yelling and hang up. W.T.F I didn't want to confront him about it because I was hoping he would tell me himself but once again I am disappointed. My mother then throughout dinner hated on my dad (I don't blame her) and blah blah blah. You can say it was a bad dinner. I couldn't get out of there either because she was talking to me but then I don't wanna hear it anymore.

I been hearing the problems about my parents since june 2009, its 2010, its over and I wish my mom would stop cursing, yelling and complaining about my dad. I get it, his a retard who gave up his family to be with hos. I get it all. I'll never forgive him for it either but can we PLEASE move on? My mom keeps telling him I should hate him too but then I when I do express hatred (because I am pissed off) she then tells me oh, we all make mistakes. The truth is despite all that happened, no one actually even considered how I feel about this. I want to move on but it seems everyone is stuck in the pass. My mom refuses to move on and she drags me back into the pass with her. Everyday she is like, look what your dad did to me, look my stupid life, my life is so patheic, look at how pitiful I am, I am not getting enough sleep, I am so depressed everyday thanks to your dad, I think I might die soon, I am never going to live long and blah blah blah. What do you want me to say? That my dad should tied to a log and cut to pieces?

I don't known why she says these things to me. To make me feel her sorrow, anger, annoyance with her? I really hate it when people say stupid gloomy pointless things to me, it ruins my whole day. Its like someone saying "My cat die and now I want to die too". You know it won't happen, you can't be mad because they are sad, its pointless and does not concern you but then it ruins your day. She says hates him to get guts but then she lets him in our house and etc. I told her to take him out of her life and URG. She is so contridicting. I can't even try to chat with her about it because she just freaks out and..urg. Yes, I had to grow up too fast. I had to learn how to cook, I have to learn how to take care my emotional broken down mother, I had to learn some pretty disgusting things about my dad. I lost my childhood thanks to my unstable parents.

But I plan to take it back, once I leave those two "complicated" people and go to unviersity I want my childhood back. I'll never think about the problems they have, I am going to study hard but I plan to wake up at noon, eat candy all day, play PSP and wii and I plan to live happily rater being annoyed 24/7.

I planned to study math and biology but I ended up studying niether. This weekend went by too fast, before I could sit down it disappeared. God, why do this always happen to me??

Speaking off god, I had a conversion with Louis and if God Exist, his not a wrathful mean guy who floods people and send people to hell for not worshipping him. His a COOL CHILL guy who likes to party and eat Doritos. He probably looks like Santa Claus minus the red suite. OK? GEEZ. Its not disrespectful to say he looks to Santa to you all conversative christians. BTW. If your hating on others because you can't accept them, your NOT going to heaven. I don't care if you hate in the name god, if you have hate in your heart you ain't going no where! I probably ain't going no where either, I like earth, might stay here a couple life times.

oookkkay its obvious I need sleep, nights.

is this goodbye?

2010-02-25T21:41:00.004-07:00

Mood: Shitty
Browsing: Ultimatebettas
Music: Goodbye - Kristinia DeBarge
Drinking: nothing
Eating: Nothing
Wearing: White
Suppose to: Study
Want to: cure my fish

After almost 7 month, I think Danny is really hitting the end. He pretty much only lies on his side and breathe heavily now. This happened so fast, only was 2 days ago when he was still perky and happy. I really don't know what exactly happened it could be a parasite, minor choking or some other mysterious disease. I might buy some Jungle's Parasite Clear tomorow but I doubt I'll have time to save him, but I will try =( My poor fishy.

Frosty and Mozart are both good to my relief.

Tomorrow I have a math quiz and a chem quiz. Hopefully I will do really well, I am scared silly for math because I did NO studying whatsoever after the last unit exam because I kept having other assignments due. Anyway did my biology quiz today, i think I did pretty well.

Tomorrow is Friday, finally the weekend is here. yay.

call it anger

2010-02-23T23:42:00.002-07:00

Mood: Shitty
Music: Nothing
Browsing: Nothing
Drinking: Noting
Eating: Nothing
Wearing: yellow
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: -sign- Study

So many shitty things happened today. (-.-)' First off, I did my math final and I run out of time so I fucked up like 3 questions and probably lost like a billion marks. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. grrr.

Second off, someting is wrong my betta fish which I owned for 7 month. He has weird sympotoms and I cannot identify the problem. All 2 and 1/2 years of research and you give me so brand new weird problem. URG. Don't die on me Danny.

Third off all my dad got married to some ho without even telling me. So he just got married and I DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW ABOUT IT. W.T.F. I am so pissed, at least he could have gave me a sign, a hint, ANYTHING. So his friend told his ex-wife who then told my mom. I knew he was messing around with em' hos but marry one? Fuck. This is just plain sadness and disppointment. Not only did you fuck up my high school year by flipping me around all over the place you decided to marry a ho. I mean she is ACTUALLY a ho, I just don't hate her for fucking my dad while he was married to my mom. She was dating like 8 guys before she married my dad. I wander why she chose him *cough*passport*cough*money*cough*. HO. Fuck this, if I ever re-read this. Jamica, make sure no one mess you up, be sure to stick a knife in them if they do, eh?

A side note, I actually didn't fail my chem quiz like I thought I did. I got 84% and I re-did my biology quiz, I think I did better (hopefully). I saw M**** today, his hair grew back, his hot again. Yay for sexy hair?

Paddle to the Meadow :)

2010-02-21T21:42:00.002-07:00

Mood: Content
Music: Jet Black Cadillac - Stereos
Drinking: Nothing
Eating: Nothing
Wearing: Blue/Purple
Browsing: Youtube
Suppose to: study/sleep
Want to: Sleep

Hey guys =) Well my weekend was SUPER unproductive. It just disappears like that on me. I don't know where it went =/ I was suppose to study for math and chem. I didn't.
Anyways I have my math final on Tuesday, I don't know how well I will do. I have 93% and 90% on quizzes hopefully nothing before 90. If I can get a 90% average in Math, I will be so acommplished. Tomorrow, I am going to go Tutorials for Biology 30 to see if I can do a rewrite on my Biology quiz, I only got 83%. Its not a horrible mark but the reason I got so much marks off is because I did not realize the image I was labeling was backgrounds compared to the one I studied from. So I labelled stuff BACKWARDS. I knew where they are suppose to be and all =/

STUPID reason so I plan to do a rewrite if I can ^_^

Alright as for chem, its going ok. I think I did ok on the last quiz, we have OTHER quiz tomorrow. So many quizzes. Hopefully I will do good again. I really want aleast 86%+ in Chem . Hopefully this semester my grades will top over 86%.

Well off to bed, oh and search up the "Orgy Party" by Shane Dawson on youtube. Its hilarious, I love that guy, he is so funny.

no pain no gain

2010-02-17T23:14:00.002-07:00

Mood: Shitty
Music: Summer girl - Stereos
Browsing: WSCH D2L - Homework
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Wearing: White
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: I dunno

I studied until 12PM last night over math, and today I find out its open quiz. I should have went to bed at 11PM. Tomorrow I have my biology quiz, hopefully I can do really good on it. :) I am aiming for 100%! Hopefully I will get atleast 95%. I didn't study as hard this time, I know my stuff but lets see how luck treats me. I also signed up for a biology test contest, just to try it, it won't hurt to see how
good at biology I am.

I did really bad on my chem quiz. 11.5/18, sad eh? I didn't study so figures, other quiz on Friday. Its bigger so I plan on getting 90% or higher. haha :D

Anyhow I am watching this anime series called Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne, its one of those cheesy fairytail girl stories but I kind of like it. I really hate those violent cartoons, this one is pretty good ^_^

On Friday, after visiting Louis I plan to go shopping for a present for my aunt. Its her Birthday today but my card is going to be late. Oh well, better late then never.

Alright nighty nighty :)

Sleeping late

2010-02-16T23:59:00.002-07:00

Mood: Sleepy
Music: None
Browsing: Nothing
Drinking: Nothing
Eating: Nothing
Wearing: Purple
Suppose to: sleep
Want to: Study..

I spend a 8PM-12AM going over Math, its not fruitful as I want to be but I can't cover a week worth of stuff in 4 hours. I should have studied more. =( But I am such a slacker, I didn't get to Chemistry or Biology either. Thursday I have a biology quiz and on Friday a Chemistry quiz. I am cramming everything again.

I should work harder. But I always say that, but I just get distracted so easily, its like programmed into me. URG.

Going to bed now.. did my sheep brain thing today, it was fun and smelly.

time is flying

2010-02-12T23:07:00.002-07:00

Mood: Exhausted
Music: Soul Decision - Faded
Browsing: Google
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Wear: A pink shirt
Suppose to: be asleep
Want to: type this out

I realize how fast I wasted 2 days!! Time went flying by, tomorrow I have to wake up early so I can do my chemistry, math and social homework. On sunday, maybe I can finish up my biology. Then on Monday I need to finish studying, I have lots of quizzes coming up =/

The winter olympics has started in Vancouver today! Good luck to all the teams across the world. I really hope Canada wins Hockey. It would be sad if Canada loss.

As much as I support the olympics I think the money spend could have went to helping Aborginals, homeless shelters and other current issues Canada is facing. We spend 6 billion dollars on this thing. 6 billion dollars can built a lot of shelters, really improve the health care and more. =(

Anyhow its also Chinese New year Eve!! Happy new years to my family in China!! I miss you guys all very very much! I hope this year I accomplish more !

-sneeze- boo.

2010-02-09T22:23:00.002-07:00

Mood: Shitty
Music: Tonight is your night - Jesse McCartney
Browsing: Nothing
Drinking: Icy Water
Eating: Nothing
Playin: Crash: MOM
Suppose to: Be sleeping
Want to: not be sick no more :(

I am so sick and tried that I haven't been really keeping up with my homework. Hopefully I can catch up over the weekend. =D Tomorrow is the last day of school before my 5 day weekend which will be great.

I might be going to sushi with Kelly, Molly and Monica. It sounds like lots of fun.

I got 100% on my biology quiz, I got 94% or 100% on my math quiz. So yay, I guess hard work pulled off. I better check if I got above 70% on my Chem quiz. I hope so since if I don't I have to retake it. So far bonding seems easy.

I really don't like my social teacher, she is such *****! She won't let me use tissue in her class because I have a cold and need lots. GRRRR.

Biology class is so boring. Everyone is in grade 12 and they are.. so.. gothic or nerdy. Hm.

thnx, you ruined it

2010-02-03T22:18:00.002-07:00

Mood: stress
Music: Fire Bomb - Rihanna
Browsing: ehow
Drinkng: Nothing
Eating: Nothing
Shirt color: Nothing, ahaha
Suppose to: sleep
Want to: Type

Well I talked to Mr. Selby and he like gave this long explaination a about my mark. GR. He said my mark was slowly dropping during report 3. But then one was I getting 80s and 90s on my tests? GR. Apparently for the writing part which is worth 40% of my overall mark.. was just 1 fucked essay! I did bad on it and my mark dropped. BOO. Summer school.

Tomorrow 2 quizzes, nothing to stressful but I really would to like start this semester with nice high marks in Bio and Chem so I reviewed. I think I will do ok.. I get it. I am aiming for 90+ so I hope I can do it and if I don't it just means I have to study harder. I am really aiming to the the sciences above 90% this time.

I want to do well, I need to do well. :)

Someone drove stake through my ego

2010-02-01T21:56:00.002-07:00

Mood: crushed
Music: Broken-hearted Girl - Beyonce
Browsing: Youtube
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Shirt color: Yellow
Suppose to: nothing
Want to: Stab my teachers

Someone drove a stake through my ego, after all that hard work I manage to only get a 41% on my physics final. But I ran out of time and I guessed every question so.. figures but I still passed. 61%. haha. Summer school here I come.

What crushed me more was.. I have 73% in E.L.A which is.. STUPID. Its impossible, I did some calculating and the lowest I should have gotten with my final mark should have been at a min. 77%. My 3rd report card mark dropped by 8% but considering I didn't do that bad.. I don't understand. I plan to talk to my E.L.A teacher but he is one of those .. teachers. I might end up doing e.l.a for summer too. T_T

O. I need to get a 80%+ simply because Queens has high standards.

I did ok in Biology, the sad part was I only got 82% on my biology final so my 90% average drop by 2%. Ouch. I will work SUPER hard on Biology 30, its my diploma and I refuse anything below a 90%. If anything I am aiming for 95%.

My goals for this semester:

- Math = 80%

- Biology 30 = 90%+

- Social = 80%+

- Chem = 86%+

I need to do really well on sciences and really consider if I should do english over the summer. O. I feel so dumb, I really want to do early admissions.

don't u love insanity?

2010-01-31T21:24:00.003-07:00

Mood: Curious
Music: Cold Case Love - Rihanna
Browsing: Deviantart
Drinking: Nothing
Eating: Nothing
Playing: Crash: Mind over Mutant
Suppose to: sleep
Want to: Prance around

zomg it starts tomorrow, semester II of grade 11. I am totally.. curious to see how Mr. McGuiness is, no one has ever heard of him. Mr. Nixon said he was handsome young smart chem teacher but since Mr.Nixon thinks that of himself.. I have doubts. LOL I just hope he is a awesome chem teacher, I cannot way to do awesome in chem so I can actually dump physics next year. hehe.

I should go to bed soon and get my 8 Hours ♥ This isn't one of those stressful breaks either, I had no worries for a whole week which is great. I am refreshed so ready for Biology 30. YES. Bring it on! Cells, Organs, Reproduction, anything natural! ahahaha. I am so not ready for math or social. Whatever!

This weekend is suppose to be warm (thank god for the chinook), I hope I can go shopping with Kelly or something. ahaha. ^w^ I can't wait to meet new friends and totally do better this semester. I am going rock Bio and Chem. =3

Mom forced me to do shopping with her in the freezing cold today but in return she made me fried pork for dinner. :D It was yummy. I think during the break I gained like other 2-3 pounds from all the junk food. Well working it off, no need to be skinny but definately healthy. I really hope I can replace my bad calories with good ones. I went through 4 large bags of potato chips, cheesecake, chocolate, you name it. OooOoo poor liver, poor kidney, I feel sorry for them.

Anyhow.. toodles, tomorrow will be FEB. Wee. 2 more month until its official I been writing in this blog for 2 years. Achievement!

This feels frightening.

2010-01-27T23:20:00.002-07:00

Mood: Confused

Music: Give it up to me - Sean Paul

Browsing: Youtube
Watching: Vampire Diaries
Drinking: WATER
Eating: Nothing

Is it weird watching to men have sex? Er. Yes very much. Is it kind of hot? Hmm yea.

Should it be the first thing you see in the morning. NO.

Well I open my computer to check for new updates on my favorite shows and the first link takes me to 2 dudes doing at it. Wow, great way to start a day and now I cannot get that image out of my head. URG.

Which reminds me of this whole gay prejudice thing. Mr.Selby once mentioned about one of his collenge prophets sueing a church for teaching prejudice against gays and some random judge reversed everything. What they didn't mention was that the judge was probably a member of the church and that he is secretly a huge cock that is prejudice too. You know what they say, I love your christ but not your christians who are so unlike your chirst. People reflect their gods/goddess. I sure wouldn't want those meanies to reflect me if I was a upper power. XP

Which brings kinds of makes me laugh since some person at a message board posted that if I was going to hell for believing love is right no matter what then lots of great, open-minded, kind and wonderful people will be down there. XD

I think love is love, if you love someone, then love them. Feelings go away but love lasts. Love isn't a act of sexing, kissing or etc, love is acceptance and humane side of a person. When you offer someone a helping hand, bring a lost dog to its owner, hold the door open, THATS LOVE. Making out with your lover and f***** them later is feelings. They can go away.

Laterz, maybe this rather steamy but disturbing image will be released for my head.

Wake up call

2010-01-25T22:11:00.002-07:00

Mood: Weezy
Music: Lucky - Jason Mraz ft. Colibie Colliat
Browsing: Pokemonepisodes.org YEESH
Watching: Pokemon <333
Drinking: Water ♥
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: Nothing really XD
Want to: demand an answer from upper powers

There must be a terrible mistake.

How can this be?

The very man I found absolutely stunning is not only taken by some random blonde but happens to be working as a janitor? This can't be right. Hot men = Janitor? What is the meaning of this? There is a mistake. Ok?

Twisting back to my life, my parents are at it again. They are "debating" over the issue of my mom handing demands of child support from my dad to the goverment. You know, much easier for her but then its crappy for my dad because if he wants to change the amount of the money or anything like that he has to come back to Canada and talk to the goverment. ahahaha I don't give a fuck but I kind of agree with my mom. When I go to Unversity but agreement and goverment demands he has to supply me with living expenses. Which is nice for me. If he doesn't want to give me no nothing talk the goverment.

He is leaving for China in 2 days, going back to his Hos and Whores again. Whatever. Can't believe he is almost 50 and still doing that kind of shit. Men. Urg.

I promise myself I plan to find a man who refuse to step inside a bar side vs being burned alive. So downing of women, so disgusting, so easily diseased.

Too doodles, worked forever on this new skin.

well its over.

2010-01-20T23:17:00.003-07:00

Mood: pained
Music: Rude Boy - Rihanna
Browsing: Koko's Goldfish
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Watching: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: murder physics >.<

I think I failed at my physics final. I bombed it. I totally lacked time! I was spend like 10 mins on every question and I had only 2 hours to do 47 questions and a mini lab. URG. So I winged it, basically guessed everything. ahahaha. FAIL FAIL FAIL.

On the other hand, I think I did ok at Biology, it wasn't hard and I remembered and knew most of the questions. I hope at least I get above 90% so my average does not change. I cannot wait for Biology 30, it seems so much fun. hahaha. YEA.

I have my last final of Reading for E.L.A next, hopefully I will do well. After that rotten test I will be done all of my tests and have 1 week to relax and prepare for my upcoming tests. That includes Chemistry, Biology 30, Math and Social. I am scared silly of math but hopefully everything goes great. I am after all, getting my Biology Diploma! I hope I get a 95% for my diploma! <3

should start..

2010-01-15T23:12:00.002-07:00

Mood: Crappy
Music: Over you - Girlicious
Browsing: Nothing
Eating: nothing
Drinking: nothing
Suppose to: Be alseep..
Want to: sleep
Watching: CSI: NY

I need to study, bad, since my Biology Final and my physics finals are on Wednesday. -sign- I am so scaed. I should study my ass off yet I don't. WTF is wrong with me?

Went to visit Louis today, we played cards and I brought her cake. She was a really nice lady, I never met anyone that isn't cranky when they are old. Anyway its a good thing. :D

Nothing else to say.. good night.

hey hey hey

2010-01-11T17:50:00.003-07:00

Time:5:51PM
Mood: Drained
Music: I turn to your - Christina Aguilera
Browsing: Deviantart
Drinking: Water
Eating: Coffee Pocky
Suppose to: Study
Want to: Write this entry

Woot times flies pass. I have finally say, finished my winter break with out doing anything. Yep. (._.)'

But hey I bet many feel the same way, I just relaxed 100%. hahaha. Yea. Now I am busy busy studying and going over tests and exams. I have my SHM and Wave Final tomorrow. Kind of scared. ;.; I hope I do well.

Nothing too exiciting, I went over to Kelly during the break and we had a lunch party. We just mostly played games. :D It was pretty fun. I also met her sister's boyfriend. He is ok I guess. Kind of nerdy and really nice but I didn't find anything that her sister should be attracted too. Just a other plain asain guy. O well I guess everyone has different tastes.

Last Friday I went to this Nursing Home and met a nice elderly lady to chat with. She was nice and really exiciting. I think I talked to much. hehehe. Oh well, next time I plan to bring her some Lemon cake ^_- I hope she will like it and if she can't have any I guess I'd just eat it with Kelly. I think I should make Cupcakes.. or squares. <3

there I lay so lame

2009-12-28T23:39:00.003-07:00

Time:11:39PM
Mood: Irritated
Music: Butterfly - Crazy Town
Browsing: Youtube
Drinking: em.. Water
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: sleep
Want to: have a super long break you know

Today I woke up at 9AM! WOOT!! The earliest I ever woke in a long time. lol I went swimming with Kelly. It was fun, I haven't swimmed in such a long time and it was nice to swim. I love just cannon balling into deep water but Kelly doesn't like deep water all that much :( Oh well I tried to coach her how to swim, only swam for a while since her sister got really tried and wanted to go home. O well.

Tomorrow I have to go to China Town or Downtown for some supplies and etc. My mom has been really busy lately with her job so I have to do most of the house work. Not to mention the unwanted pest friends are back and bite her. They probably bite me too but I am kind started just numbing the itch away so I don't even know if they actually bite me since I don't itch. Which is worse since that means I am being feasted on alive without even knowing it. WTF. I hate these things. Please die. I never damned anything before but please die bugs, please die.

I haven't really studied much either. I did some physics notes for an hour today, tomorrow I hope to do 1 hour of Physics, 1 hour of Biology and finish 20% of E.L.A notes. I doubt it happen but at least I set a goal.

School starts in a week. I don't want my exams. D: But I don't think I have a choice.
-sign- I hope I get a 99% on my Biology Final.

its nearly 1 =[

2009-12-21T00:40:00.002-07:00

Time:12:41
Music: He lives in You - Lebo M
Browsing: Ulimatebettas
Drinking: Nothing
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: Sleep

Alright super quick post. Yesterday I went to watch a movie with Kelly, Nick and Eddie. It was "Avatar" and it was amazing. Its my type of movie, fantasy, ailens and really cool planets. I mean come ON, Blue Ailens, Supernatural powers, riding giant rainbow birds, talking to plants, super strange animals, its my dream world. I wish I lived on Pandora. Earth is so BORING. No offense Earth.. your cool and all but Pandora is wicked. Its amazing what people can imagine.

I would love to watch it again.

hehe.

Anyhow, today dad took me shopping. I bought a pair of jeans and a hoodie. Thats it. :D Good night everyone.

well isn't it obvious

2009-12-16T22:49:00.003-07:00

Time:10:49PM
Mood: Wore-out
Music: One last time - Elise Estrada
Browsing: nothing
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: be winter break

Isn't it obvious that I need winter break? I got a 79% on my biology test, yes, on my BIOLOGY test. Too obvious. hopefully it will not effect mark too drastically, I plan to own my final. Who cares if physics is too hard to me.
I get my biology diaploma this year.

Got some Christmas Present from Kelly ^_^! Its most chocolate. hehe hers is overdue sadly, still sitting in the artroom. I am not close to done, she can get it after Xmas. haha.

Anyways.. can't believe its almost 2010. Its kind of scary. I feel old.

Pain

2009-12-14T22:19:00.002-07:00

Time:10:20PM
Mood: Pooped
Music: In my head - Jason Derulo
Drinking: Nothing
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Ultimatebettas
Suppose to: sleep
Want to: stomp on someone.

I had the most boring day ever. Really. I barely finished my notes on time for English, I had the test, it was ok but I doubt I did amazing on it.

Whats more of a blow to the head is I got only a 82% on my Biology test. This is the first time I ever got something below a 86% on biology. It hurt me to say the truth. But then I was sick that day and had a fever so I my judgement might have been clouded. Hopefully the written response will bring that up so I don't have to have my failure. I have a Breathing Final tomorrow, I studied for once and hopefully will bring back the marks I lost. I refuse to have a mark lower then 90% in biology. I am going to be a doctor. Thats that gr.

Physics is no longer calculations for once! YAY! I love it! I hate fomulas and calculations that are over a page long. Now its just remembering what waves look and act, kind of like art so I like it a little more this time. Hehe. I hope this is my chance to bring up my mark. Only 4 more days left till Christmas Break. ♥

My arm is sore for some reason, maybe I slept on it last night. =/

its good till you realize.

2009-12-13T22:06:00.002-07:00

Time:10:07PM
Mood: Cheesy
Music: Shook - Shawn Desman
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Tudou
Suppose to: study/sleep
Want to: dance and drink something

My weekend.. disappeared. It just went by like that.. o. -_- I didn't even get the chance to study at all. On Friday I didn't do anything, I stayed home and watched CSI. My dad kicked my dad out when he apparently said some pretty stupid things so yea she was pretty pissed. My dad is idiot. I seriously think there is something wrong with him. Maybe he hit his head against the wall or something. whatever.

On Saturday I went to the dentist, I got my teeth cleaned and he told me I should get braces. T_T But no one would pay for them, dad is cheap and my mom can't afford it. waaah. Yea. He cleaned my teeth and filled some holes. I have pretty bad teeth because I have holes already TT_____TT I am so sad. Yea, when he was filling them, from the reflection in his glasses I saw so much blood. Ow. But other then that, it was ok.

Today I didn't do anything, I woke at 12:00 noon then I took a shower, got dressed, made lunch, ate lunch, watched CSI until 5, started cooking at 6, finished at 7:30, me and mom ate and then I watched CSI until 9:30PM, then I went to the washroom and then washed up, now its 10 something and I need to go to bed.

But then I realize I have a english test and I didn't study at all. shit. Guess I be studying in art tomorrow. *sign* I AM SUCH A SLACKER not even kidding, and I enjoy it too. heh heh.

failure is success in way

2009-12-09T21:43:00.003-07:00

Time:9:44PM
Mood: Sore
Music: Postcard - Jordin Sparks
Browsing: Youtube
Drinking: Water
Eating: nothing
Suppose to: Study
Want to: breath properly

I am sick =( its official. I have a mild fever, a sore head, stuffy nose and I am really moody. I hate this.

Today I learned I only got a 60% on final for physics. figures. Why do I bother? I tried so hard, I cranked my head hard, studied why I was sick and all I get is a 60% like I never bother. Whatever.

I did my Biology final today, it was okay, it was pretty hard compared to our previous test but I think I did ok. There was a few question that annoyed me because the way they were worded. On my Ecology Poster I got 100% =) yay. lol I love Biology, its so much more fasninating then punching numbers my calculater. But its kind of boring right now. Next semester its going to be fun.

Dad came over again, like everyday and my mom is really annoyed. He comes here basically to do.. nothing. That just annoys her lol. I think he is just really bored too. Whatever. I don't have time to keep her company so he can just annoy her.
Anyways bed times. My sinus is swollen, can't breathe >_<

Sneezies

2009-12-08T22:18:00.003-07:00

Time:10:18PM
Mood: Grumpy
Music: Don't talk to strangers - Hedley
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Ultimatebettas
Suppose to: be sleeping XD
Want to: Be not sick?

I don't know what kind of bug I have but I have something that is causing the sneezies, aches and stuffy nose. >-< I am super annoyed, my mind is completely jugged today and I had to write a physics unit test. haha, we know how that went.
Biology Unit Final Tomorrow. Should have studied but was too sick. I have the end of the sentence too, so super moody. Yelled at the guy bring stuff into the apartment cough for bumping into me *cough* slightly bitchy today too.

Not a good day, maybe tomorrow will be better. Please be. It annoys the hell at of me when I have a stuffy nose, its why thing that drives me insane. Anyways wish me like tomorrow.

The weekend after this one is Xmas break, finally. =)

jamicicle

2009-12-05T23:19:00.002-07:00

I went to Asain Buffet to celebrate my b-day with a few friends. In the end only 3 people manage to show up because it was frickin -20 outside and the buses were all messed up. O WELL. It was still lots of fun! :DD I fell in the snow too. O well, got some interesting gifts. haha it was all good.
I also recieved anything from my family including some gifts! so happy ^_^

consider my brain

2009-12-03T22:10:00.002-07:00

Time:10:11PM
Mood: Sleepy
Music: Hurt - Christina Aguilera
Drinking: Nothing
Eating: Nothing
Browsing: Nothing
Suppose to: Sleep
Want to: Sleep

I didn't do any physics again =( I was going to but then my dad came over, again, and started to chat with me. He seriously needs find something better to do. Not that I mind him visiting but my mom doesn't like it too much. O well.

Tomorrow is my birthday and I am going to die my hair black or to say, my natural color again. That way it doesn't look half brown. Then I am going to go hang out with him, I am going to ask him for a 10 gallon wish tank at Petsmart. Its cost like something dollars. Not to much to ask, and maybe take me somewhere nice to eat. Whatever.

Really tried now, tomorrow I will be 17 years old ♥